Inspiration from India

On Friday I received an email from one of my blog readers and after reading it and speaking with her, I decided to post it because it was such an incredibly nice gesture to email me everything she said.
It has restored my faith in there being nice people out in the world who will just randomly give a shit about people. It is nice to know, especially when you feel like you are surrounded by people that don't really care about you.
So that is why I wanted to share it with you all, because maybe you will find some inspiration and encouragement in what Vartika wrote to me.

Also, please go and check out her blog, she is new at blogging and needs some blogger love!

Understanding 42

Hey there

I love your blog! I've been following your story about the phone episode and on reading the recent update I just felt like I wanted to reach out to you. Your blog has made me smile to myself a number of times. So after hours of debating whether to write or not, I've finally managed to muster up the courage to take the liberty to write to you. I hope you will not mind!

I'll begin by introducing myself. I am Vartika. I live in India, am new to blogging and simply love your blog. I admire you for the courage you've shown in the whole T situation. I think its very brave of you to be able to deal with things and be strong.

I do not know T and the problems you guys faced, but I agree with all your friends that transferring the phone to him is the best thing to do. I do think that someone who does not bother to reply to you about a simple and innocent sms, about a phone for which you've been paying from your pocket for a while, is not worth any more of your tears and mind-space. A relationship is a shared responsibility and commitment and both are supposed to work hard to keep it going. I don't think you should blame yourself for anything that went wrong. If you didn't talk to him maybe he never made you feel comfortable enough to talk to him. And it does not matter who ever is/was at fault but the simple fact is that its over. He is clearly not in that same frame of mind any longer. I believe you should try and not talk about him so much with friends. Discussing him will only make you think about the whole situation again. And i think its simply not worth the effort.

I know its easier said than done. But I strongly believe that there is someone better in store for you. I believe that this too shall pass and that a few years later you will think about this time and feel like you wasted precious time worrying over someone who doesn't care anymore. ( i am not trying to blame T or anything, just saying that he isn't in the same frame of mind any longer). I know its all easy for me to say and I also know that you already know all this and are doing your very best.

I've been in a similar situation before and know from experience that it was a very difficult time. The guy I was with (lets call him S) was a total jerk and was cheating on me (with my best friend ofcourse, very typical??). I hated myself for being so stupid and was a wreck for a long long time. A few years later I met A (my husband now). And I know now that I went through all that sad phase so that I could understand and appreciate what I have now. S was so not worth it simply because S and I were poles apart. With him I was never sure of myself and of him. I thought I would never be able to trust anyone again. But here I am with A and I've never had a single ray of doubt in my head about him (touch wood!!).

I think I understand and appreciate my relationship with A much more because of what I went through earlier. Agreed S was a jerk and does not even compare to T. But am sure that the future has something better for you in store. Someone who will allow you to be yourself with him, someone who you will be able to share all your thoughts/desires/secrets with. Am sure that that someone is around the corner and you will meet him soon. But for that to happen you have to let go of any bitterness towards T. Cherish what you had with him and say goodbye!

There is a beautiful couplet in Hindi that goes...

"Abhi raah mein kayi mord hain koi aayega koi jaayega, tumhein jisne dil se bhula diya usse bhoolne ki dua karo..."

Crudely n Roughly translated in english it means... there are many more turns in the road ahead and the person who has forgotten you from his heart- pray that you can forget him too....

I am sure I've butchered the whole thing :-D

I hope you will not be offended by my audacity as a complete stranger to write to you. I hope I can bring a little sunshine to your bright sunny day tomorrow! Have a great day!

Take care!

love

-Vartika