So last night was supposed to be a simple for M and I. We were going to get take out, go to the park and chill out. Half way through my day yesterday, I started to feel a lot of pain in my right side. By 4pm it was unbearable. I left to go to a walk in clinic because I decided I didnt need the ER at that point.
So I am waiting and waiting in the clinic and they tell me I need to go to the ER. Great job Jen on your ability to waste time is exactly what I am thinking. I now have to drive myself to the hospital and drink this nasty drink because I have to get a catscan. So I am driving all around trying to find the goddamn hospital and google maps is talking me all which ways.
By now, I am in extreme pain and crying and feeling like i am going to puke because I am drinking that drink. Still no hospital. FINALLY, i decide to go the complete opposite way, and I find it. I get inside they send me god knows where,,, a lot of walking is all i remember and once I get to patient registration, she sends me back down stairs to the ER. I mean seriously people? WALKING was not exactly what I could do right now.
Finally I get to the ER, and my mom gets there. I am sitting waiting to be called for the catscan and I am now feeling like i am dying. The pain is so bad. I really thought I was going to have to have surgery. I havent had surgery before but I wanted the pain to end.
They bring me into the ER and give me morphine and something to stop the nausea. And this whole time I am thinking where the fuck is M. Thank god my mom was there otherwise I'd be sitting alone in the ER.
I go in for a catscan, they give us the results 45 minutes later. This whole process has been about 4-5 hours now. M is still not there. They tell me I had a kidney infection and that I can leave and take antibiotics and don't need surgery. Thank God! No surgery.
As we are walking out the ER is when M pulls up. Its been 4-5 hours later since I got into the ER. I am pretty disappointed and upset but i'm high on morphine so it doesn't really matter to me at that point.
Look now his idea in his head was that I was going to need surgery and that I was going to be there all night. So since my mom was there in the beginning he would come and take over for the end. Okay. I get that.
Now... is it not right for me to be upset because he should have been there the whole time? Am i to except next time if I am dying in the hospital or need actual surgery, that he won't be there until he's done with plans? Because if it were the OTHER WAY AROUND, I would have dropped what I was doing at that moment and be there the entire fucking time, regardless who was there or not.
Granted, I wasn't dying nor did I get surgery, BUT I was in extreme amounts of pain and I wanted him there and he showed up 4 hours later, as we're walking out the door.
I mean I get it,,, this just happened out of no where, and he had shit he had to do.. like today, I am off from work but he has things to do. Granted he's off too.. he HAD to go do these things. I get it. Life doesn't stop for me. And i'm not asking it to. But if I'm really sick, even if its only ER room sick i'd take just that, and youre my boyfriend, be there. End of fucking story.
Give me your opinions... I really don't know how i feel about this besides really not important and wondering if he actually cares about me or does everything else come first and then me.
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12 comments:
Aw I'm so sorry & I hope you feel better! I think he should have been there for you. I would be extremely mad. My boyfriend was in the hospital for something minor, but as soon as I found out I got dressed in 2 seconds and got there and went into work late to take care of him. I would hope he would do the same for me. You deserve someone that will be there with you through good and bad times! Best of luck! <3
I'm glad you didn't need surgery! If I had been in that much pain I would have told my husband to get his ass down to the er pronto! I think I would feel the same way you do about the bf putting other things in front of you when you're scared and in pain.
Hope you feel better soon!
First, I'm glad you're ok! I've been to the ER for a kidney infection (plus other things at the same time) and that was nooooo fun at all. I too thought I was going to need surgery and was terrified.
As for M, I guess it depends on these things he had to do. If it was like...three seconds before the bank closes and his credit card was stolen and he had to buy blood for a dying cousin, then I'd excuse it (or...you know. Something similar). But if it was "Oh, I had to do laundry then my friend called and he just broke up with his girl"...that's no excuse. I'd be pretty mad. It's nice that he considered that at least you had someone with you during it all, but I think he should have come sooner.
OMG feel better soon!! Those drugs to help are hardcore. I've been on them. Take care! Drink lots of liquids.
That sucks that he wasn't there. If he was working I can understand him not being there, but if he was just hanging out he should have been there. Especially seeing as you had plans together. He could have been pushing you in a wheelchair instead of you having to walk around. I have been in this situation before. But at the time my boyfriend was working, we needed the money and his boss was an ass. But he was still there mentally, texting me the whole time. You need some support. Glad your Mom was there to help.
Get better soon!
First of all, and obviously, thank goodness you're alright.
As for M's behavior. Well, there are plans and there are plans. If my beloved was in the ER, I would move heaven and earth to get there...except there are some things you just can't move.
Nearly perfect example-she was in a car wreck years ago. She called me, explained what had happened. She was fine, she was in the car alone, car was toast. I was at work. Now, I could have run off to be with her-at that job, I had other people who could take over for me if absolutely necessary. As it turned out, there was nothing for me to know-a police officer brought her home, the car was towed to the garage, she had all the information from the other person's insurance. So I just stayed at work.
Now, fast forward to the present. God forbid, my wife calls and has been in another wreck and is hospitalized. I can't leave my current job-literally, its against the law for us to be open if I'm not there. Now, I would start calling anyone and everyone, calling in favors left and right, to get someone to cover for me. But it might indeed be 4 hours before I could get to her, regardless of how badly I want to be there.
I guess what I'm saying is there might indeed have been nothing he could have done to be there any sooner. It kind of depends on what kind of "stuff" he had to do and whether it could have been moved/rescheduled/ignored.
I do think you need to talk about it. He may have a good reason, but if you don't ask, you'll never know. It is fair to ask him to consider your needs #1 in his life. It is also fair of him to ask you to understand that it's not always physically/financially possible for him to do that every time. (In 2010, work really does have to come first sometimes, because if M doesn't put his employer first, there is probably a currently unemployed person who will.
it was not a good reason. the reason was because he thought i was going to get surgery and he figured since my mom was there he could show up later that nite and stay with me over night.
he was at home with his friend fixing a computer and eating dinner and then came to me.
it was a really bad and unacceptable excuse, which i made very clear.
ohhhhh No! I hope you feel better soon and I'm not sure what to tell you about that whole situation, I would definitely be upset and I'm assuming you spoke with him.. did he react with an apology right away? I hope so.. maybe he wasn't aware of what he was doing? Sometimes boys are dumb! eeeps, I'm bad at giving advice apparently but it's try sometimes boys are dumb!
I'd be upset too. You look to him for comfort and he wasn't there to comfort you. I doubt he meant anything by it. Men are just massive morons. Let him know how much it upset you. Hopefully he understands and it won't happen again.
I'm glad you didn't need surgery and you're ok!
aw thanks everyone... yeah he apologized and said his motive was the be there the entire night... so i cant be TOO mad at him... i get it... it just didnt feel like that when it happened.
I've been sick for 2 months now, Yesterday I had to have some more tests ran. my boyfriend can't come because he doesn't have a car. The only thing he could do was text me that he loved me and hoped this time they would figure it out.
I think he meant well by it, but all in all i'm glad they could figure out what is wrong with you and you're getting better.
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But YAY for no surgery. I do think that he should have been there for you! :(
i get it. you needed him. you needed him then, and not 5 hours later, after the fear and the pain and the cat scan and the morphine. he needs to understand that, for when it (or somehting else) happens again.
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