Married Life 101

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No one ever tells you what you need to do when you get married. Or how things change. And the compromises you will have to  make. Or what it really means to be actually married to someone.

Without all the glitz and glam of getting married, were you really ever prepared for what happened once that all ended?

I have been the single girl who did what she wanted and was rude and mean to whoever I wanted to and got away with it because my mind set was I didn't need them as much as they thought they needed me. Clearly I have been hurt before and that was the aftermath! But it worked out well for me for so long, that it took a while (and if you asked my husband) the transformation is still happening.

I must admit, there are times when I can go into being very rude and don't mean to but these pregnancy hormones are worse then normal. And it tends to be harder for me to apologize or take constructive criticism well. But then again, I am female. And pregnant. And hormonal. And psycho Jen comes out more often then not.

There are so many things that you wouldn't think normally that you need to start thinking about once you get married.

For instance, do I change my taxes to married instead of single? Yes.  And how? Well, I am still in the process of doing this, since I am newly married and just learned about these things recently!

How do I change my name and when and where and with who!? All questions I have and still haven't really had answered so it still has yet to be done.

Get a joint bank account? We did, but for savings and bills purposes. We both have our own as well as a joint. It works out well for now. Except around Christmas... because noisy preggo lady over here wants to know where he is shopping and now can't find out.

Do you get to wear a wedding ring if you haven't had an actual wedding yet but you are married? That is really your call. My husband wears one, and I wear the engagement ring; for now.

How long is too long after you are engaged/married/pregnant to have a wedding? Well since I never do anything in the right order as anyone who knows me can adhere to that, we still have not had a wedding yet. People ask me why bother? Or why wait until the baby is born? Or why not do it right after the baby is born? Well... ask yourself the same question but in real life terms: Do you want to still be fat when you have to wear a wedding dress and look at these pictures for the rest of your life?
Answer: I think not! Do you want to be able to drink at your wedding and enjoy it and not have everyone feeling bad for you because you are 7 months pregnant and can't stand up straight? Answer: No thanks.

So my initial thought is wait until June 2015. The baby will be 1 years old and can be the flower girl and I will look just as nice as I did before the pregnancy. And I can drink.  Three favorable things for me. AND then we can leave said daughter with her grandparents and say SEE YA! and off to our honeymoon we go.

You can't do or have any of that with a 2 month old!

Who does the laundry? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who leaves clothes all over the house? Who picks it up? The answer is usually me. Except he does most of the laundry and he leaves clothes all over the house. If you asked me this last year, I would not have said me to any of it. I didn't cook before we moved in together and got married. That was a huge NO for me. And here I am, cooking almost every night. Who thought it could be so easy?

Married life is hard. The glitz and glam is the nice pretty part. The rest is the tough dirty hard work. But it is worth every minute of it for me. I learn something new about him and myself every day.

And compromise. What I am not good at. Compromise and pick your battles. I am not quite there yet but I am focusing on both of those aspects.

More about crazy preggo Jen to come.

Teaching in the South Bronx

This is absolutely true.

Whoever said teaching was an easy job because you got so many vacations, was a complete idiot.

Teaching is not an easy job.

In fact, it is one of the hardest, most stressful, and time consuming jobs I have ever had in my entire life.

Not only do I have to be at work at 7am and don't leave work until 4:45, but then I go home or on the weekend and I write lesson plans, I grade papers, and I have to enter grades in. Or do whatever crazy thing my administration needs me to do.

I have the privilege of teaching 5th grade ELA and Social Studies in the South Bronx. Don't get me wrong; I am completely grateful for getting this teacher job. When people say in the teaching world, the only way you will get a job is if you know someone, and they are ABSOLUTELY 100% correct. I would have never found this school if I hadn't went to college with one of the administrators. I lucked out. That is for sure.

But then step into my classroom and take the crazy children that are in it, and every day I wonder, did I really luck out? Or am I totally insane for trying to teach these kids anything. 

Some of them are incredibly smart; I was even surprised. And sometimes, with the attitudes that come out of these 5th grade kids, I truly forget that they are 9 and 10 years old and are in 5th grade. Their smart ass comments can drive someone completely insane. But then again, in the South Bronx, you have to take it with a grain of salt.

These kids lives are like no other school I have worked at. I am used to the rich white kids in upper Westchester. And if you have never heard of Westchester before, it's a ritzy area that has money. Switch over to the South Bronx, it is like a completely different environment.

I can say my first week starting there was the hardest week of my life. I was newly pregnant and my stress level was on 100. I was fighting for respect with 42 5th graders and they absolutely did not want to give to me. The teacher before me I found out was a straight up evil woman and she would make fun of them in front of the whole class and make them feel bad. I was not about that life. So now trying to win over these kids and get them to listen and stop talking was very, very, verrrry difficult.

At times I was so overwhelmed not knowing the ways of the class, not knowing their names, or their habits, or what we were teaching (which I have to create the whole history curriculum --- no big deal! --- and then time manage correctly so I am not doing work until 8pm at night, and then make sure that when the principal walked in the room these kids weren't going psycho. 

So, you can say I my plate FULL! I never thought it was easy, but in grad school, they don't tell you or teach you these kind of things. No one can prepare you for what you will deal with in the South Bronx. I don't actually think my school or my kids are dangerous, but getting out early on Halloween because its gang initiation day...... that's pretty new to me.

Or kids coming in with strange cuts on their arms or faces... also new to me. 

In my opinion, they are in school for too long. Our charter school hours are way too long and by 9th period at 4:00, these kids are checked out. They are also in a school with high schoolers! I think 5th graders should be still in elementary school - not with seniors who are 18!! It just really changes how they act and making them grow up fast.

On the other side of that, these kids are taking public transportation like city buses and subways to get to the school, all by themselves. They are 9 and 10 years old walking alone early in the morning and at night being with strange people on the buses and subways and at that age, forcing them to be grown up.

These kids needs to know what's happening at all times and they have to worry about getting jumped on the way home or shot! Those are things that kids at the ages of 9 and 10 shouldn't have to worry about. Ever.

This is just the beginning of my stories coming out of the South Bronx. Overall, as much as I hate my kids, I like them too. They frustrate the hell out of me, but I want to give them a fighting chance. I have a lot of knowledge to share, and even if in their other schools before me they haven't learned shit, at least I know that coming out of my classroom, they will know how to write an essay, and they will know the 50 states in the US, and they CAN spell words and they CAN be responsible. 

I will not fail them. 

This is my chance to change lives. 

And a Happy Weekend to you...

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Although the weekend this week is not my favorite because I am working every night at the bar, i hope everyone else gets to enjoy their weekend.

sorry i have been MIA, the summer and life has taken over and i havent had time to write about anything, and i havent been home much.

between my ex now not really ex but more so the present but not dating (whatever the hell that means), work and my other work, and starting to look for apartments for october, lifes been busy. All i want to do is go back to the beach and just lay out haha

looks like come end of october i will be getting a 1 bedroom apartment.. unless i can find someone to live with, but i really am not going to just settle for someone. and i COULD live at home... but my choices are the cat room or the basement...... and its far from my job(s), friends and school. ehhhhhh.

have a good weekend xo

Just Another Day at the Office...

he lost a bet.

hahahha.

Softball

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I am playing on the co-ed team for my company!!!! I am hurting SO bad right now.. I practiced 3 days in a row and that was just horrible since I OBVIOUSLY don't use my arms at all! lol

I am a good hitter but I cannot throw for the life of me!

But with all of the pain, I am still really excited for the games to start next week! It is a great way to meet people from work as well.

Does anyone play softball?

What I got from work Today

nice huh

lol

ps signed my lease today :) moving in on Halloween! PLUS one month free rent! HOT!

PPS.... LETS GO YANKS!!!!

The Meeting Aftermath

Well. It was not what I was expecting, almost worse.

Everyone in advertising and news has to re-apply for their jobs. They are eliminating 20 advertising and 50 news jobs.

The position that I have, which is technically two right now, account manager and account executive, they added one more account manager position and they have 17 account executive positions. There are 19 account executives right now, but they are eliminating jobs from managers and sales associates, so the account executive position is going to be a tough get against some managers.

It is quite honestly, insane. I mean, we have to re-interview for our jobs, which mine is on Monday. And we may or MAY NOT be offered them back. I mean, WTF. I understand why they need to do this but its going to be a really shitty next two weeks. How are you supposed to work under those conditions and actually pitch to advertisers for them to advertise with us?! I mean, I was definitely never RA RA go my company or anything like that, but now? You except me to go along with my business and sell! sell! sell! while this may or may not even be my position in 2 weeks? Really?

Way to motivate..

Bad Mood Blues.

It's too late. Deed it done.

I woke up this morning and I was fine. I was a little late, but that's normal.

Then I got to work and people started whining and bitching and moaning, and that just makes me so angry! Obviously it is time to get the hell out, but there is NO WHERE TO GO!

I have applied and applied and applied. And that's about as far as anything went. I am trying to be motivated to do work and I am trying to pay attention and not do other things, but I just can't. The position that I have is getting so screwed. The bonus plan, the amount of work I have to do compared to the reps, etc. No fun. So that is my feelings on work.

On a brighter note, I finally am done with the application process for my Masters in Childhood Education Grades 1-6. I am accepted to the program and I have already started... I need 11 more classes to go! Sees like no a lot, but it is a lot of $$$$. I just need to stick with it, this is my 3rd grad school I have applied to and taken classes at and decided I didn't want to do that degree anymore. So I was excited about that, and as soon as I walked outside to go back to work, I had a flat tire on my car! Wonderful -- is that supposed to be irony? And THEN I went the class I am taking towards this degree and I failed the midterm! More irony? What is it trying to tell me! But I am not the only one who failed --basically half the class, and the teacher knew everyone was going to fail, he said it the first day of school. But still. What a great way to enter a program with a positive attitude. All smiles.

Should I just keep going? Because I have a list of things now that I think about it. An ex-friend of mine, mind youwhom is a evil cheating, liar, bitch, whore, got ENGAGED! How is that even possible? And she is happy! I thought bad things are supposed to happen to bad people, not good things! While, my best friend, who is NOT an evil lying cheating hoe, is having serious issues with her boyfriend and they are in the process of working things out, hopefully! How does that work? Where is the karma people? Where! Also, this week my brother got dumped, she used the "its not you, its me" excuse. As well as my other best guy friend got dumped too, because his girl is a crazy bitch. So with a week full of break-ups (usually bad luck comes in 3's so I think that's it for now) and then her being engaged, it's shitty.

LET ME JUST ADD THIS.... There is this girl who when I was in high school and dating a guy I dated them, the first serious boyfriend of mine, she was in love with him. Ever since then, she has been trying to get with him and kind of stalking me. So I went off to college and him and I broke up. He was mad at me and he knew me and this girl didn't like each other, so he slept with her. It didnt really matter, we weren't together but then the next year she went to MY college! She left 2 years into it. So that was strange because there are SO many colleges out there, how are you going to choose the one I go to!? So now, we are friends on facebook, because I am nosey, and recently I see these weird coincidental things: she is dating HIM, she went to Malaga Spain just like I did, and she has a mini cooper -same car I want. I know this is really coincidental things but oh my god! I should probably just delete her from facebook since she is a little stalkerish. One day, when I decide not to be so nosey, I will do it. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Okay I am done now.

Writing about it is good because once I re-read it, I don't feel as bad. And the count down to the weekend continues...

Puppies, Pit Bulls and the Work Grind.

Its only 9am and i want today to be over.
I am going to Costa Rica in 9 days from today and am extremely excited. I cannot wait to get out of the US. I havent been out since I went to Spain and Portugal in June 2008. Best trip ever. Those two countries are amazing.

So i wanted to talk about talk about this website I just found.
http://www.spbr.org/pictures/jan2605/oldskool.htm

Its a pit bull rescue facility in Stamford, Connecticut.

Here is their list of dogs for adoption
http://www.petfinder.com/fpm/petlist/petlist.cgi?shelter=ct217&status=A&age=&animal=&title=Smilin%2527%2520Pitbull%2520Rescue%2520-%2520Pups%2520for%2520Adoption%2520(spbr.org)&style=3


Love this quote:

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated” --Gandhi

9 days and counting....
Jaco Beach...


Puerto Viejo