Pregnancy Problems: Hey Pregnant Lady, No Drinking for 9 Months!

Hey Pregnant Lady... No drinking for 9 MONTHS!

Not that I was really a huge drinker or anything but I enjoy beer a lot. I love all the fall flavors and I like to go out and have a beer, or social drinking style, etc. But now that all I can drink is red wine, it sucks.

And being 28, and none of my friends being pregnant or my husband not being pregnant (which is REALLY not fair!), it sucks to go out with everyone and be the non-drinker. I am always designated driver and even if I have a red wine, it sucks! I hate red wine!!! What an evil punishment.

I don't mind that much not being able to drink, but I do mind when my husband goes out and drinks and comes home wasted. I am not a fan. I honestly wouldn't be a fan pregnant or not. But I almost feel like its inconsiderate and like I am being left out.

I know I shouldn't take it that way as if being left out, but my crazy emotions which make me cry over stupid shit, take over and make me upset and take everything very personal.

I really am not sure how to make these emotions stop or how to feel like I am not being left out and I am sure I am being ridiculous most of the time, but it still just sucks and I am warning you fellow pregnant people, these things happen. I would honestly never feel left out or lonely in this situation, but now that I have super emo crazy things going on in my body, that changes the whole ball park, making me incredibly depressed.

Ugh!

They never mentioned things into details on how you will really feel when you hear about pregnancy!

If you have similar stories, please feel free to share!

Married Life 101

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No one ever tells you what you need to do when you get married. Or how things change. And the compromises you will have to  make. Or what it really means to be actually married to someone.

Without all the glitz and glam of getting married, were you really ever prepared for what happened once that all ended?

I have been the single girl who did what she wanted and was rude and mean to whoever I wanted to and got away with it because my mind set was I didn't need them as much as they thought they needed me. Clearly I have been hurt before and that was the aftermath! But it worked out well for me for so long, that it took a while (and if you asked my husband) the transformation is still happening.

I must admit, there are times when I can go into being very rude and don't mean to but these pregnancy hormones are worse then normal. And it tends to be harder for me to apologize or take constructive criticism well. But then again, I am female. And pregnant. And hormonal. And psycho Jen comes out more often then not.

There are so many things that you wouldn't think normally that you need to start thinking about once you get married.

For instance, do I change my taxes to married instead of single? Yes.  And how? Well, I am still in the process of doing this, since I am newly married and just learned about these things recently!

How do I change my name and when and where and with who!? All questions I have and still haven't really had answered so it still has yet to be done.

Get a joint bank account? We did, but for savings and bills purposes. We both have our own as well as a joint. It works out well for now. Except around Christmas... because noisy preggo lady over here wants to know where he is shopping and now can't find out.

Do you get to wear a wedding ring if you haven't had an actual wedding yet but you are married? That is really your call. My husband wears one, and I wear the engagement ring; for now.

How long is too long after you are engaged/married/pregnant to have a wedding? Well since I never do anything in the right order as anyone who knows me can adhere to that, we still have not had a wedding yet. People ask me why bother? Or why wait until the baby is born? Or why not do it right after the baby is born? Well... ask yourself the same question but in real life terms: Do you want to still be fat when you have to wear a wedding dress and look at these pictures for the rest of your life?
Answer: I think not! Do you want to be able to drink at your wedding and enjoy it and not have everyone feeling bad for you because you are 7 months pregnant and can't stand up straight? Answer: No thanks.

So my initial thought is wait until June 2015. The baby will be 1 years old and can be the flower girl and I will look just as nice as I did before the pregnancy. And I can drink.  Three favorable things for me. AND then we can leave said daughter with her grandparents and say SEE YA! and off to our honeymoon we go.

You can't do or have any of that with a 2 month old!

Who does the laundry? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who leaves clothes all over the house? Who picks it up? The answer is usually me. Except he does most of the laundry and he leaves clothes all over the house. If you asked me this last year, I would not have said me to any of it. I didn't cook before we moved in together and got married. That was a huge NO for me. And here I am, cooking almost every night. Who thought it could be so easy?

Married life is hard. The glitz and glam is the nice pretty part. The rest is the tough dirty hard work. But it is worth every minute of it for me. I learn something new about him and myself every day.

And compromise. What I am not good at. Compromise and pick your battles. I am not quite there yet but I am focusing on both of those aspects.

More about crazy preggo Jen to come.

2013: The Year of Transformation

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It has been quite awhile since I have sat near a computer and actually wrote anything meaningful besides writing lesson plans for work. I have definitely neglected a talent and hobby of mine that I was incredibly in love with over the past four years. But life got in the way and caused me to have to find different ways to make money, which was bartending while trying to finish my master's as fast as possible. So, if you have ever bartended before, you can imagine the hours that I was working in order to make the most amount of money as possible.
And I honestly wouldn't change it for the world. It was an amazing experience and I met and worked with so many people and learned a lot of management skills and forced myself to multi-task going to school to finish my master's, working at many different schools being a substitute, and bartending as many nights of the week as possible to pay my rent, and inevitably trying to have a social life! So, my hobby of writing, really got pushed to the very very end of my list of important things in my life.

As I enter 2014, my life is 100% different from how I started off 2013. If I were to have told myself in 2013 that in 2014 my life would be like this, I would have laughed in my face! But it has been the worst, best, hardest, most incredible experience ever in my life and I would literally change nothing or want it to be any different.

I can never just change one thing about my life. It usually has to be like if I change one, then everything else needs to change as well. Every year I think has been the hardest year of my life and I have accomplished one great thing and so forth, but 2013, this year has been the BIG year for me.

2013:
Graduated, received my master's and got 3 New York State Teaching Certificates
Went to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Met the love of my life
Rented a shore house
Went on vacation to Europe: Austria, Germany, Italy
Got engaged
Found out I was having a baby girl
Got Married
Moved into a house with my husband
Got my first 5th grade teacher job in the Bronx

See what I mean, I don't do anything just half assed. I make sure its all the way!
My life has went from being the single girl who lived with her friends and was just making it by from bartending and working at shitty preschool or substitute jobs to being a grown up.

My life that lays ahead of me is so exciting, I wish this baby would get here now. Collecting girls clothes and getting ready for June 2014 is like the countdown of a lifetime.

I also never thought I would find the man I would love, marry, and have a child with, ever in my life. I literally couldn't have ever been so lucky. I actually still can't believe I got so lucky. After all of these years of having such shit luck, it finally changed.

And here's to the transformation that is about to happen in life.

And as for transformation, I will be focusing on my new life: Army Wife, Teacher, Mom to Be, House maker, life.   Ahhhhhhhh who would have ever thought!!!!!!

Stay tuned.

Speaking of...

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This WILL be where I get married and this will be the reception.  End of story!!  Too bad thats in like a million years hahah but wow, so beautiful!

Can one of my friends PLEASE get married on a beach at an island like... as soon as possible?

Thanks!

When Did Dating Have to Turn into Marriage?

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Where along the path did being in a relationship turn into a 'if we're together for X number of years or months we have to get engaged or married'?

Can anyone tell me at what age this all switched over?

Or are you wondering what the hell I'm talking about?

Think of it this way. When you were in high school and you were just dating whoever and the 'i love you's' were being thrown out there and you all thought this was the person you were going to marry, but then you went to college and it was all over from there... well, at that point, it was all fun, and you most likely weren't ever going to get married to them (ok ok for the 1 off cases who actually marry their high school sweetheart)

Even in college, you could date someone and not have to think that you needed to marry this person in order to date them otherwise it was a waste of your time.

Now.. after college, I understand the part about growing up and wanting to settle down and blah blah blah.... but it really puts SO much pressure on relationships and almost takes out all of the fun. You can barely just enjoy the relationship or even the fact of not being in a relationship because people think once you are at this certain point, whatever age you have in your mind, that being with someone SHOULD result in engagement or it's a waste of your time.

Trust me, I want to get married and have a family and the whole 9 yards. But right now I am sort of digressing and wanting to be in a relationship to just have fun and not have the pressure to think...."Is this the guy I am going to end up with?" "Will I marry this kid?" "Should I introduce them to everyone in my family because he will be around for a long time?"

Those are questions I really don't want to deal with right now. I have felt those feelings a couple times now and I have been incredibly mistaken. I want to just be able to be with someone and not have to feel like I need to know what is going to happen with this person in a year from now.

My most recent relationship and even the one before that, I had pictured and planned what it would have been like to have married them etc... and you know what? They don't even exist in my life anymore. Shit changes and all of those thoughts and those family members that should have never even have met these people did, and I think all of this effects why I am moving backwards.

But it is also not a bad thing.

Too much planning and mapping out your life doesn't leave any room for mistakes or disasters that happen to occur when you have everything mapped out.

I like the guy I am dating, and I am not living past this moment. Whatever happens, happens.

If i have learned three things in my past relationships, they are:



1. Never bring them to a family event unless you have been dating over 1 or 2 years.
2. If you do, make sure they are in a crop-able position in the picture.


and 
3. Let the natural progression happen, forcing it will only make things worse. 

are you more ready then your significant other?

Have you ever felt that you are more ready for the serious part of your relationship then the person you are in it with is?

I feel like that. And i have also felt like that in my past relationship too.

Don't get me wrong, I really liked being single, but that was only because I found a few people that I wanted to hangout with and I spent my time with them. I really didn't do toooo much of the random guys hooking up business. That was more during college.

I just feel like I am ready to get married, live in a house, get a dog, be a teacher, and chill. It's probably the holidays that are doing this to me and the fact that I really like M and i could see this actually going somewhere, but that's how i feel.  And i cant talk to him about it because i think he is still not used to the whole relationship being good and there not being crazy drama since I am not a complete nutso like his ex.

With T in my last relationship, even though we lived together, it felt like we weren't together. He also said he didnt want to get married, and I do. So i felt like i had no future with him, i really didnt even think about it. But i wanted to settle down..

With M,,,,, i can see things. But he is definitely not there yet...probably not for a couple years. And I am not trying to rush either because I am broke and couldnt afford any of that stuff anyway, but i think about it.

Do you think its just because I am a girl and I think of these things? Does anyone else think of this as well? Can you not tell your significant other because they will get scared?

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Interactive Thursday!

single: when do you want to be married by?

married: when did you get married by?

single: i think i would like to be married by 28 or 30... i think that is a good time for me. I am about to be 25 and since i have no clue who i'd marry at this point i would guess it will be around then!! hopefully....!

The Broken Heart Files

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.

I have been fully inspired by Nicole at My Teacups in Peony and her Love Story Project!
If you have not checked out her love story project, please do so, its really wonderfully done and all the stories are so lovely and if you HAVE love story, please please submit it to go with her project!

Now, from all this inspiration and love going on, and since I am not in the love circle what-so-ever right now, I decided I wanted to write about break-ups and broken hearts.

It is not the happiest topic, but I know from listening to friends talking about their break-ups and their relationships ending that a lot of craziness has gone down in the final days. I know from experience that it just gets ridiculous after a certain point and sometimes it is worth sharing.

So I am asking for your ridiculous stories, the moments that just make you go WTF just happened?! I want this to sort of be a learning a learner experience for everyone incase you read it and think "i don't ever want to do THAT!" and "OMG that bitch is CRAAAZ-YYY" lol.

I don't know if this is a good idea but I know that I have some ridiculous stories to share with you and I KNOW you got stories!

This could be from a..
one night stand
long term relationship
marriage
divorce
friendship
... anything.

Soo.... send them over, I will start posting them as soon as possible. Add pictures, links, whatever! Make sure to give me the link to your blog if you want so I can link it to your blog as well!
I will post them on here and on the group I made on 20 Something Bloggers!

I hope this works! Mine will be up soon.

Maybe we can make a book one day Nicole! lol

Email your Broken Heart Files to: jennifera328@gmail.com