Single and Moved

Well here it is.


My new life.


I moved basically everything yesterday with my parents and two of my friends helped. Thank god, because T didn't want to take any of the furniture, so I had to take everything except the TV and a small dresser. So the truck that we rented wasn't quite big enough but we managed to fit almost everything in the truck and our cars.


What a disaster... Now I have to go back there and clean tonight so I can potentially get my money back from the landlord, who is in hate mode for me now because I didn't give her that much notice in the move. Sorry lady, it was unexpected -- I wasn't totally planning to move!


I dont ever want to say "i know" and i dont ever want to hear "ull be okay" again ..... or "i know, but ull be okay" LOL sara.


Crazy.... T came back yesterday when we were moving my stuff. So awkward. I gave him my letter, hopefully he reads it. That would be nice. I mean, if he wants to call me and talk sometime soon, I am all for it. I do not want him cut out of my life forever... i still love him so much. It's just right now we would never work. There is too much stuff against us that shit just keeps getting fucked up and maybe this is for the best. Who knows... I dont. Im just going day by day and seeing what happens next. No clue.


I haven't lived at home in 7 years and I haven't been single for more than like a month in more than 4 years. Holy crap..........


I really didnt want to move home. I looked at different homes in the area, specifically Ryan Homes, and really ended up liking them a lot. Now I am in need of a roommate.


If only I could pick and move far away instead of moving back home with my parents. I would find a new home start fresh and work at creating the best life possible for me. During some of the worst points of this break up I'd pretend house hunt and imagine a new life. My favorite homes were always from Ryan Homes. They have homes for sale in warm sunny places, how couldn't I be happy starting a new life where it's always sunny? Hopefully buying a home is along the next steps in my life instead of renting. 


I don't even KNOW how to be single! What do I do!!?

257 - Single Malt
Originally uploaded by Single Malt

Ha Ha Wait What GIVEAWAY!!!

Happy Friday...

I am happy to announce my girl Amy is hosting her first giveaway!!!!!

Please check out her blog and enter yourself in for a cute bag she got from an awesome Etsy shop!

CLICK HERE FOR HER BLOG!

the goodbyes

my apartment..


my awesome coworkers....







sigh :/
as much as i hate this place, it will never change the great people that i have met there and i am thankful for that. they changed my life!

I have a Job..

So.

I got my job back.

Same exact job.... it is as if nothing changed.... except all the crazy stress and layoffs and people quitting and everyone freaking out. I mean i guess its good and all because I actually have a job as opposed to NOT, but still. It is going to be a lot more work and same pay and same shit because of all the people that left & got fired, now we have to pick up their slack. Fun.

FML!

I have an interview tomorrow in the city. I hate interviews, they are so crappy and stressful! Hopefully something works out.

Last night was awesome. We went out for a huge group "last" happy hour with everyone that was leaving and it was really sad but really fun. I got hammered so that helped. I have lots of pictures that as soon as I put them on my computer I will add some here. But it was nice to go out with everyone and have fun.

And.... moving this weekend.
Yuck :( horrible. i am SO not happy about that or excited and still sad. yuck yuck yuck.


Do i take this apartment? What to do.. what to do.... any opinions? i love ur opinions :)

Interactive Thursday!

Topic:

What is something that skeeved you out?
Definition skeeved (because it doesnt actually look like a real word!): to be freaked out, weirded out, revolted by or generally turned off by something or someone.



Mine:

Very hard to put this into words because I dont know how to describe what it feels like, but you know in school when you would play dodgeball with those like nurf foam balls? Well THAT foam stuff I cannot deal with. I can't touch it, it freaks me out.

I don't know why or what to do about that but it freaks me out! I am trying to find a picture to show you, but its so hard to find since they don't have pictures of the nasty old raggedy ones we had in our schools!

Ugh! I get sooooo skeeved out by the feel of them oh my god, I cant even tell you! If you ever went to a place where they had foam pits like in a gymnastic place, I hateddd it!!!!!!



lol.. i am so strange i know.


Thoughts?! Comments?!

Some Ventation

photo credits

Man, my life has been insane over the past month or two.
As you all know, we have been re-applying for our jobs and still have yet to find out if we have them or not. We will most likely find out tomorrow and/or Friday. And then, T and I have broken up and are in the process of moving out. The mental stress and draining this is taking on me is huge. I might need to go to a spa for a week or something and get my brain and heart fixed after this.


My friend and I went to look at an apartment the other day and we really liked it. We applied for it, they approved us and we are thinking of taking it starting October. I told my friend C today that i really am all over the place and i would like to get the apartment but if like 1/2 through September i decide against it, that she cant be mad at me and id pay her back the $75 for the apt. fee.. because i dont know what im doing right now, i cant even decide what to eat for food right now, let alone commit to an apartment for a year. i def dont want to let it go, but i cant think straight and i dont know if thats the best choice and i dont know if im going to be able to figure it out right this second in the mind set that i am in and i dont know if im going to be able to get over this fast and i dont know how i feel about living with someone else right now after tom, bc its depressing and im so upset. So she understands, and says not to worry about it. It sucks, I really hate letting people down and I feel like that is all i have been doing EVERY SINGLE DAY.

T and I sat down and talked finally last night and we talked about a lot of stuff. There is just so much stuff, I dont even want to put it up here because its long. In the end, its over, there is nothing I can do right now to fix it. We are moving out by the 1st. He has made up his mind. He is really angry and upset right now. So to just leave him alone. I told him I couldnt leave him alone until he gave me his exact answer and he did. And now I have to just leave it be.. I can't force it anymore.
Maybe he will talk to me again one day. Maybe. Who knows? I can't keep crying all the time. I need to go to a happier place.

I don't know if that is moving in with C. I have no idea. Who knows?

Right now all i know is that i have to finish moving out, I am losing my boyfriend and best friend, everyone is losing their jobs all around me, I may or may not have a job and if i DO have a job who knows what it will be and where, and this all is happening by Sunday.

Holy fuck.

pictures.

it's a picture day....

(sorry u cant really read it)

photos from http://vi.sualize.us/ because i learned of a new website from Ambar!

camera! i need a real you!

i need a new camera.

can anyone recommend a really awesome camera that isn't extremely expensive but still takes really nice pictures?

i want to be able to take beautiful pictures that are good enough for flickr!

one day..... !

thanks and good nite :)

photo journey

i found this awesome picture on flickr and thought i would share it with you. unfortunately now I cannot for the life of me find who posted it and found it on random search so I don't think i'll be able to find it again! grr! I just loved it so much and thought it was well done :)

Apparently Flickr is where it's at for pictures... where the hell have I been?!

freedom ?

Freedom
Originally uploaded by Pascal -

i saw this picture on flickr and it made me think of my life.. and what is happening right now and I feel like I will be that bird soon. And everything is going to be very different after this week is over.
Should I be excited? Should I be scared? I don't know what I should be.
I am just going through the motions right now. As I walk in, he will walk out. It is so utterly depressing, you have no idea.
My mom came yesterday to help me pack up a lot more stuff, so there is a lot of emptiness in my apartment right now. Yet another depressing fact.

So here I am looking up amazing pictures on Flickr, still in this depressing apartment, counting the days until I find out if I still have my job or not and having the final days with T before we have to be out of our apartment and lives together.

September 1.

That is the last day we officially have to be together. Wow. I cannot believe it. It seems so surreal. Like it isn't actually happening... and that that won't be the last time we talk. And I will still be here in this apartment waiting for T to come home and MAYBE talk to me.. just maybe. And everything will be fine, and go back to normal.
But I know that it wont and it cant and it shouldnt.

so.. one more week.
holy crap.

Sunday Dog Files

The best day of the week.
My time at the SPCA Shelter.

Meet some of the dogs that are new this week... so adorable. We just got a bunch of dogs from the south.. soo cuteeeee oh my god.

Cayenne

Zoey

Cody

Shadow

There are so many more but I couldn't post too many pictures because they are just so cute i didnt want to make EVERYONE sad!! lol
awe..
Please visit them at petfinder to see all the dogs from the Briarcliff shelter. So cute AND they need homes!!

No Other Love, John Legend

If you haven't heard this song, listen to it.
It's so good.



Have you ever heard this song?

Time to Pack.

Llangollen Station suitcases
Originally uploaded by jensmith25y
ps. i need to buy myself some awesome looking suitcases like this!

this is what i need to be doing this weekend.
ugh :(

i BAKED!

And they turned out.....
Bueno! :)

Trojan Ads

I just had to comment.

I LOVE that there was a trojan ad on my cupcakes post.
hhahaha

just made me laugh a little.

some sex and cupcakes? awesome google hahahah
and don't forget to wrap it up!

hahaha

cupcakes.

after i go to the gym tonight, this is what i will be doing.
i was inspired.
and i need something nice in my life this week.

so i choose cupcakes!
lucky office..

Interactive Thursday!

Topic:

Lets talk about you! Where do you live? State or town or country, whatever you want to put. And tell me about it. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Will you stay?

(main street in pville --not the best picture!)

(i used to work here)

Mine:

Well.. i live in Pleasantville, New York at the moment. I will be moving back to Connecticut shortly due to what I told you all is going on, but we'll talk about Pleasantville. It is 40 minutes from New York City, and i can take the MTA there.
Basically, I LOVE Pleasantville. I have lived here 4 times in the past 6 years. I love it so much. I don't know why. Those pictures do NO justice to how cute the town actually is.
I have been searching Google for like an hour now since apparently I have no actual pictures of the town except the crappy ones i put up on here!
I don't know why I love it so much.
I have had 3 different apartments in this town and am always sad to leave them. I went to college here, worked at my first coffee shop here, met T here, met so many great people here.

(my college)

(first coffee shop i worked at)

I wish i didnt have to leave, but i think its time to move on. I love my cute little town. I will never forget it.
Maybe i'll come back to this county. Maybe not. Maybe I will find a cuter one :)

Thoughts?! Comments?! Questions?!