Where along the path did being in a relationship turn into a 'if we're together for X number of years or months we have to get engaged or married'?
Can anyone tell me at what age this all switched over?
Or are you wondering what the hell I'm talking about?
Think of it this way. When you were in high school and you were just dating whoever and the 'i love you's' were being thrown out there and you all thought this was the person you were going to marry, but then you went to college and it was all over from there... well, at that point, it was all fun, and you most likely weren't ever going to get married to them (ok ok for the 1 off cases who actually marry their high school sweetheart)
Even in college, you could date someone and not have to think that you needed to marry this person in order to date them otherwise it was a waste of your time.
Now.. after college, I understand the part about growing up and wanting to settle down and blah blah blah.... but it really puts SO much pressure on relationships and almost takes out all of the fun. You can barely just enjoy the relationship or even the fact of not being in a relationship because people think once you are at this certain point, whatever age you have in your mind, that being with someone SHOULD result in engagement or it's a waste of your time.
Trust me, I want to get married and have a family and the whole 9 yards. But right now I am sort of digressing and wanting to be in a relationship to just have fun and not have the pressure to think...."Is this the guy I am going to end up with?" "Will I marry this kid?" "Should I introduce them to everyone in my family because he will be around for a long time?"
Those are questions I really don't want to deal with right now. I have felt those feelings a couple times now and I have been incredibly mistaken. I want to just be able to be with someone and not have to feel like I need to know what is going to happen with this person in a year from now.
My most recent relationship and even the one before that, I had pictured and planned what it would have been like to have married them etc... and you know what? They don't even exist in my life anymore. Shit changes and all of those thoughts and those family members that should have never even have met these people did, and I think all of this effects why I am moving backwards.
But it is also not a bad thing.
Too much planning and mapping out your life doesn't leave any room for mistakes or disasters that happen to occur when you have everything mapped out.
I like the guy I am dating, and I am not living past this moment. Whatever happens, happens.
If i have learned three things in my past relationships, they are:
1. Never bring them to a family event unless you have been dating over 1 or 2 years.
2. If you do, make sure they are in a crop-able position in the picture.
and
3. Let the natural progression happen, forcing it will only make things worse.
