Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Planning a Wedding

Why is it sooooooo difficult?

Why can't everyone just be on board to flying wherever  I want!?

Everyone has a say.. everyone has an opinion... and I just want a small wedding on the beach! But then there's his family...and my family... and people dont have money, and old people cant fly...... BLAH.

I dont know why I need to make it convenient for everyone. I mean I get it but at the same time, it's MY WEDDING!!!

I am trying to be understanding but at the same time, I don't want to be.

Any suggestions on a beach wedding in the Northeast? 

That is what I will have to make my compromise on, and it definitely won't be this year, it will have to be next year in the summer. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Top 10 March Workout Songs!

Here's the full list, according to votes placed at Run Hundred--the web's most popular workout music blog.

Stephen Swartz & Joni Fatora - Bullet Train - 130 BPM

Kylie Minogue - Into the Blue - 116 BPM

Dillon Francis & DJ Snake - Get Low - 102 BPM

Austin Mahone & Pitbull - Mmm Yeah - 126 BPM

David Guetta & Skylar Grey - Shot Me Down - 129 BPM

Fitz & The Tantrums - The Walker - 132 BPM

Flo Rida - How I Feel (SCNDL Radio Mix) - 129 BPM

Armin van Buuren & Trevor Guthrie - This is What It Feels Like (Antillas & Dankann Remix) - 131 BPM

Jason Derulo & 2 Chainz - Talk Dirty - 101 BPM

The Chainsmokers - #Selfie - 128 BPM

To find more workout songs, folks can check out the free database at Visitors can browse the song selections there by genre, tempo, and era—to find the music that best fits with their particular workout routine. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Pregnant Problems: Baby Girl Stop Pressing on my Back Nerves!

So much for no problems during pregnancy!

I got away with no morning sickness and no real serious issues.... buttttttttt sciatica is KILLING me!!!

Sciatica pain is so bad. I can't imagine how you can continue life without a heating pad.

My doctor is awful and the ONLY reason I use him is because he has Saturday hours and the hospital I want to use is 5 minutes from my house. He told me the only thing I could do about it was nothing and get a heating pad.

He's such a man seriously.

I went on vacation and as not able to walk most of the time without extreme acute pain in my right butt and down my right leg.

The top helpful things I found in this case were:
-Heating Pad
-Pre Natal Massage

Nothing else helped at all.

This past week my pain has slowly changed from acute to periodic which is AMAZING in my eyes. I have been to the chiropractor 2 times this week so far and I really think it is helping, and hopefully I can get back to yoga this weekend.

I am also considering getting this:

Especially because I am going to get bigger and my back is already in pain as it is. 

It is from Motherhood Maternity for $39. I have read reviews on it and it was 50/50 depending on the person wearing it. 

Please share any experiences you have had!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Baby Bump: 25 Weeks !

I am officially 25 weeks today.

This is my first baby bump picture, it's also like 6am in this picture before going to work, so I am not too happy ahah.

Well... Happy Sunday!!

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Snowy Saturday = Baby Clothes Shopping

When you're pregnant and you go bathing suit shopping for the first time being a bigger version of yourself... it doesn't go so well!

My poor husband sending me bigger and bigger sizes for my massive newly free boobs, and finding out that we're in double digits in TJ Maxx; quite depressing.

Why isn't there a "Massive Boobed Pregnant People Bathing Suit Section"?

Clearly, bathing suit shopping was NOT my favorite thing today... sooooo I bought a 4th of July outfit for this baby girl to make me feel better about why my boobs are so massive and I can't find cute bathing suits to wear.... so she can look cute when she comes out.

Yes..... that's what I need to keep telling myself!

Ahhh preggo problems.

Enjoy the ridiculous amounts of snow this week!

Now all I need to do is buy this....


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Marriage + Valentine's Day = Present?

This will be mine and my husband's first Valentine's Day ever, and first being married... lots of firsts going on here. So my question is, what am I going to get him? We are leaving on vacation this weekend so I wasn't sure if we should be getting presents for each other or not.

There are so many different ideas and Valentine's being such a Hallmark holiday, it seems so petty to go above and beyond especially right after Christmas.

What is an acceptable to get a man for Valentine's Day?

I am thinking Groupon might be a good way for me to go. We have recently been doing a lot of couples massages and things like that. He is very into working out so I was thinking, spinal decompression on groupon.  at White Plains Spinal Decompression.

Is that too.... un-romantic?!

I think he will absolutely love it, so that might be the way I am going to go. I suggest Groupon and massages as a great gift for Friday.

Any other suggestions? I am so not the romantic gift giver. That is definitely not the role I have taken in life!

Happy Valentine's Day Husbands Gift Shopping!

What are you getting for your husband ?!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Pregnant Problems: Clothes Shopping

Being pregnant has caused all of my clothes not to fit me anymore, going from a size 2 to I don't even know what size because I REFUSE to figure it out. 

I went shopping the other night because I had a few maternity things from cousins and my husband had bought me some... but other then that I was banking on shirts that were sizes too big because that was the style.... but they weren't looking the style since my stomach was getting bigger.

So I went over to Express since I had a gift card, and definitely wanted to cry. Being that I have no clue what size I am, I had to pick like 15 different sizes and being once a 2 at Express and now getting up to like a 10 because I want it to be flow-ish and not tight, was very upsetting. Needless to say I left with two dresses and that was it.

I had to find something to make me feel better and there aren't any maternity stores around here, so I went to H&M in hopes that they had some flow-y shirts that would hide my bump or just minimize it and get some dresses I can wear on vacation, since none of my summer clothes will fit me!

I was in luck!! Thank god for the style of clothes these days and big long shirts are in style and is exactly what I needed. So I found a shirt I liked and (of course) bought it in a bunch of different colors.

All I have to say is thank god... because I was beginning to lose hope on this clothing situation! I have embraced only wearing leggings and boots and dresses and stockings, but once my shirts stop fitting, I really don't know what I am going to wear anymore!

Aghhhhhh....pregnancy problemsssssssss. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Think Pink Bowtique

I am cursed and happy that I am having a girl. Cursed because the amount of money I am going to spend on clothes and decorations and all that will just be out of control. But happy because that is exactly what I wanted.

But I just came about this place Think Pink Bowtique...... and my initial reaction was OH MY GOD.

All i know is that my upcoming pay checks will be spent on hair bows for my daughter!

Here is their website

It is a MUST.
Only $9.95 !!!! Buy it here.

ONLY $8.95 on sale!!! Buy it here

Leg Warmers only $3.95!!!!! Buy it here 

I am in love! I hope it makes your snowy day better :)

Pregnancy Problems: What does YOUR insurance company cover?

Finally on a day off during the week, I got to call my insurance company and see what it is that they actually do cover for me when i give birth. I almost just assumed they would cover everything, but I got to thinking, what exactly DO they cover? Since I am new to this insurance and have never had a baby before, these were very important questions that I needed answered before the whole birthing process. 

Some questions that I asked (and I am no expert...I just didnt want to end up with a $10,000 bill after baby girl is born). 

My insurance is CIGNA, and these are the answers that I got. 

Do you cover the whole birthing process?
Yes -100% of it, except the $500 deductible I have to pay once I am admitted to the hospital.

How many days does it cover me being in the hospital?
48 hours from regular birthing process
96 hours from c-section

What happens if I have a two day labor experience prior the baby being born?
It is judged based on medical necessity, so it will most likely be included into the birthing/labor process of 100% paid for but it is on case to case basis.

What happens if the baby is born early and needs to be in an incubator? 
Also determined on a case to case basis. 

Do you pay for a breast pump and which one?
Yes - 100% but ONLY if you got through the company: . So I called them and the process is: your doctor faxes them the prescrption for either an electric, manual, or hospital made pump and your demographic information and then the company will mail it to you. 

I hope that maybe this can help you in what you should consider asking your insurance company before the baby is born!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

NYC Public Schools... Survival of the Fittest in the Snow!

I work for NYC public schools and they literally do not close their schools, EVER. If you live in New York or the Northeast, you know how much snow we have had in the past couple of months and this week has been almost ridiculous.

Every single school district around us was closed... expect New York City.  Major De Blasio thought it was a good idea that we still have school. He's so wonderful!! See this article.

The thing with this is, fine, we have to go to school and fine we have to drive in, but seriously, these kids take public transportation to school, is it really worth their lives to get to school to only have a few people there and then to do nothing at school?!


Tomorrow we shall see what happens tomorrow but my real question is.....

Is it more important to go to school? Or to be safe in extreme blizzard conditions?

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Pregnancy Problems: Hey Pregnant Lady, No Drinking for 9 Months!

Not that I was really a huge drinker or anything but I enjoy beer a lot. I love all the fall flavors and I like to go out and have a beer, or social drinking style, etc. But now that all I can drink is red wine, it sucks.

And being 28, and none of my friends being pregnant or my husband not being pregnant (which is REALLY not fair!), it sucks to go out with everyone and be the non-drinker. I am always designated driver and even if I have a red wine, it sucks! I hate red wine!!! What an evil punishment.

I don't mind that much not being able to drink, but I do mind when my husband goes out and drinks and comes home wasted. I am not a fan. I honestly wouldn't be a fan pregnant or not. But I almost feel like its inconsiderate and like I am being left out.

I know I shouldn't take it that way as if being left out, but my crazy emotions which make me cry over stupid shit, take over and make me upset and take everything very personal.

I really am not sure how to make these emotions stop or how to feel like I am not being left out and I am sure I am being ridiculous most of the time, but it still just sucks and I am warning you fellow pregnant people, these things happen. I would honestly never feel left out or lonely in this situation, but now that I have super emo crazy things going on in my body, that changes the whole ball park, making me incredibly depressed.


They never mentioned things into details on how you will really feel when you hear about pregnancy!

If you have similar stories, please feel free to share!

Monday, January 27, 2014

Baby Bump Details: No Morning Sickness?!

Don't hate me automatically for reading the title! I have had the crazy luck of having NO morning sickness at all. I don't know how or why or anything like that but not once did I ever experience it; yet.

I feel like by now it would have happened to me or I would have gotten it or should have, and I should be in the clear now at 5 months.

And honestly, up until I was JUST about 20 weeks, did my stomach really start to show. But then it came out of no where and just appeared. I am not one of those people that will be taking lots of pictures and counting the weeks. I am more about... see me before and then see me after and those 9 months no one knows what I look like.. we're all good!

I know you want to curse me out and I totally understand that! I really hope my good luck now won't change into bad luck around the time of the delivery and cause me to have the worst experience ever.

I haven't had any weird food cravings really, but I do eat a lot of pickles and jolly ranchers for whatever reason. A lot of salty foods are pretty much what I crave, but I will eat mostly anything.

I have not taken to eating like shit and only eating donuts and such. I eat a lot of fruit, chicken, salad, and vegetables. I find myself craving salads and chicken more then like McDonald's but there are times when I JUST WANT A WENDY'S CHEESEBURGER. (I have never liked them before... why I like them now randomly who knows!)

So, that's my bit of information that I will share with you today on my pregnancy. I feel extremely lucky, and can't believe it.

If you have any experiences for a first time mommy you would like to share, I would be so happy to post your experience under baby bump details!!! Please leave me a comment with your email or email at the mail me button to the right!

Happy Monday.......!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Teaching Kids Not to be Bullies

This is probably the hardest part of my job. I have 5th graders in the South Bronx. They are 10 year olds that travel by taxi, public NYC buses, and NYC subways in the early morning and late at night to get to and from school. They are tough; they are mean; they are not like regular 5th graders. They don't really get to act like children anymore. It could change their life if they act like a child while walking home or taking the bus or subway and someone jumps them.

But how do you teach kids like that in school to stop being an jerk? I had one kid make a comment today to another kid and I had to stop the entire class to talk about how being a bully makes them a loser. Some kids don't know how to defend themselves without being mean and they don't know how to come over and mention it to their teachers because they are embarrassed or uncomfortable doing it.

It kills me how absolutely rude and mean my kids are. I had to stay after school yesterday and talk to a kid and his mom because he was being bullied in the bathroom by a kid in my class and his older brother.

Ugh. It's not fair.

When did kids get so mean?

And now that they have facebook, Instagram, twitter, and text messages and email, it makes it like 100 times worse!

There are so many ways to bully now, it is hard to keep it under control.

Any suggestions? How do you handle it?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 - Easier Than Ebay!

I was reading Casa De Nicole's blog today and I learned about this website called Vinted. It is a great concept.

I have lots of things I have always wanted to sell but could never figure out Ebay or take the time to do it. This website has a mobile app where it takes just a few minutes to upload what you want to sell. I am pretty excited about this. I just wonder if anyone will actually buy my stuff?!

My Vinted Link.... This is my link to what I am selling.. of course I could only find a few things now that I am wanting to sell things ha ha.

Come check it out!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Calling All Pregnant First Time Mommies!

I honestly know so many people that are pregnant right now, especially on their second babies. Unfortunately they are mostly just people I have known that are still my friends on facebook that I haven't seen in a bazillion years.

My point being:

I am 28 going on 29 and none of my friends are pregnant.

So my choices of people to talk to about being pregnant are...... oh slim to NONE.

None of my friends care that I am pregnant. They aren't at that point in their lives; and it is what it is, I can't expect anyone to care or want to know how I am or how the baby is or buy me baby clothes because they are excited; point blank: I am pregnant and I need to find some people to talk to about it who are going through the same thing.

So I am reaching out to bloggers. If you are pregnant or just had a baby, please contact me! Leave me a comment with your blog and email address.

I want to start a weekly Pregnant Mommy post but I need your help! I haven't had too many crazy pregnant things happen to me yet so I am not so good on the morning sickness advice or not sleeping advice.

There aren't too many groups for mommy to be's; its more about the groups of the after the babies are born groups. I just am not ready to join that group yet.

Please reach out to me if you would like to join. I would be happy to share anything that you want to write or any stories that you have experienced so far being pregnant.

Even if you check out The Bump's best mom blogs, they don't have a mommy to be blog. Or even first time mommy blogs. Anything that I could read to relate to it. A lot of the blogs are single moms, pregnant and single, or people who have kids already, etc.etc. I am talking about FIRST baby and haven't had it yet stories! This is a scary time!

Contact me if interested:
Leave a comment below with your email address and blog page!

Baby Registry Galore


I was with my mother in Buy Buy Baby for 3 HOURS! 

Holy crap.

We have over 140 things on the registry.

Who would of thought that having a baby entitled SO many things?!

And these things aren't cheap either..... Crib, stroller, car seat, bassinet, play pen, highchair, bedding, bottles, bottle warmers, clothes, blankets, bath stuff, baby food, baby food makers, breast pads, diapers, wash clothes, hair brushes, ahhh..... and thats just like 10 things!

You should see the list of stuff they suggest that you get too... and honestly, you need every single thing on that list. 

It's crazy and out of control. The amount of different choices there are for each and every thing and which brands you should get and which are better to prevent colic... like, first time mother here, how the hell do I know which brand is better?!

Good thing they have people to help you, but also good thing my best friend had two kids and I saw which brands I should use.

Some important things:

I am choosing Avent bottles. I heard they were the best for preventing colic and controlling the air intake fo kids when they are drinking bottles. 

I liked the Graco stroller/car seat combo the best because it was easy to install, easy to fold and easy to put together. I don't need anything complicated when having a baby I need to deal with. I most likely will not be jogging so I don't need a specific jogging stroller. This is the specific link to the stroller/carseat combo. 

You need this! It is helpful for the baby to learn how to sit up.

This is amazing. It controls the noise regulation with nature sounds and it is a humidifier. 

I definitely found this to be helpful because it warms bottles within about 2 minutes. And timing is everything when needing a bottle warmed.

Need it.

If your insurance doesn't cover it, get this brand. They are the best, and it is the lightest product.

Laundry detergent for baby clothes ONLY.  

Those are only suggestions, but from being there for so many hours, I felt like I can help in suggestions on what to get. This will probably change once the baby comes but for now, I would stick with these definite essentials. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

Prenatal Yoga

Ever since becoming pregnant, I haven't had time to exercise or any energy to do it either, or motivation for that matter.

My husband bought us groupons to The Yoga Room in Pelham, NY and I am so very excited to do our classes there. He has even offered to go with me because he knows that I won't go alone. 

We started yesterday and basically we just took a normal yoga class and the yoga instructor had prenatal training so she told me when to modify different poses. It was awesome. I was able to do a lot of the poses and it was nice to actually be doing something athletic instead of working and sitting around. 

I wish it was way nicer out so that I could actually go outside, but winter just sucks to do things outside and exercising; especially while pregnant! Motivation and energy just goes out the window with the darkness at 4:30pm. 

If you are pregnant and haven't tried yoga, you should absolutely do it. It is good for you, good to exercise, and good to get your blood flowing. 

Definitely try it, but make sure you let them know you are pregnant so they can tell you which poses NOT to do. 

Keep in mind: stretching from side to side is NOT a good thing for preggo people. So that pose will definitely be modified. 


Martin Luther King Jr.

This day is usually just another day off. Just like every holiday; never stopping to really think about why you are actually off, celebrating the day of someone epic. 

Martin Luther King Jr., a man who stepped up to change and embraced it, fought for it, and dedicated his life to making things happen.

There aren't all that many influential people in the world where you can say they fought for a cause and made it happen. Working in the Bronx has showed me how different life really can be in a different neighborhood with different cultures.

Yes, not every single person in these cultures shows the same motivation and change as others, but you find that everywhere; white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Korean, etc. Sometimes the differences between me and them are so great, that they don't respect me for it, and I can't emphasize with them to the fullest I would like.

But there are people out there who are there doing it anyway, who have been there doing it anyway, and continue to do it everyday, regardless of all of that.

One of the best quotes I've seen by MLK jr. is this:

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?" 

In not many professions can you say you are absolutely doing something for others. I am glad to have worked so hard to be in mine. It has been life changing.

Read Martin Luther King's speech if you have time, now he was someone who knew how to public speak!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Winter Tan Blues

Is it just me or are you counting down until the next day off or until winter break? I am absolutely. I am missing the sun, the beach, the ocean, the warm weather.

I NEED some vitamin C in my life. Since fake tanning isn't an option being preggo, I am seriously pale. I tried spray tanning; and yeah at first I was really tan. But then, eventually it started to come off, and I looked spotted.  THANK GOD it is winter and no one could see that because it looked absolutely awful!!!

Also being pregnant I have had very VERY itchy skin. I have been through many different types of lotions and finally have found one that doesn't drive me crazy anymore. In the beginning, I used to get these huge bruises all over my legs because I would be scratching my skin in the middle of the night! Talk about feel like a crazy person!

So I am literally counting down until we buy our plane tickets (pay day tomorrow) then I will be counting down until February 17th when we leave for Puerto Rico.

Earthquake or not Puerto Rico, I am coming to the goddamn beach!!!!

Rainy day today doesn't help either.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Pregnant = Crazy Emotions

Pregnancy has caused me to have some crazy emotions. Sometimes I get really sad and depressed for really stupid reasons or I get super angry for also stupid reasons. 

It is usually more extreme then normal and I feel bad for those who have to be around to handle it. Usually I take my anger out on my kids at school because they are the ones that cause it ! But when I get sad and depressed I just cry about everything. 

And I am not a crier. I usually can keep my emotions to myself but the pregnancy  emotions are making me all up and down and not sure how to feel. It's always extreme. 

My poor husband. 

Today was definitely one of those low days. 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Post Winter Break Teacher Blues

It's definitely been one of those crazy weeks where you come back from winter break of being off for two weeks and need to get readjusted to real life again.

I have been in definite need of this Friday alllllllll week long! Although now being pregnant Friday's have a different meaning for me. It's not going out and getting smashed or seeing my friends. Now its about going out to dinner and seeing a movie or making dinner and watching tv with the husband. Such a crazy difference. To more correctly state my life prior to marriage, I would usually be bartending tonight and making good money but this would be my 6am wake up and 5am go to sleep night where I am working almost 20 hours in a day.  I do not wish to go back to that life!

Happy Friday..... Counting down the long hours!!!!

Ps... my belly has gotten much bigger this week, actually really it seems to have grown humongous over night. Is this what happens at 5 months? Your stomach grows over night?!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Engagement Photo Sneak Peak

This was not one of the ones we picked, but you get the idea :)

Married Life 101

No one ever tells you what you need to do when you get married. Or how things change. And the compromises you will have to  make. Or what it really means to be actually married to someone.

Without all the glitz and glam of getting married, were you really ever prepared for what happened once that all ended?

I have been the single girl who did what she wanted and was rude and mean to whoever I wanted to and got away with it because my mind set was I didn't need them as much as they thought they needed me. Clearly I have been hurt before and that was the aftermath! But it worked out well for me for so long, that it took a while (and if you asked my husband) the transformation is still happening.

I must admit, there are times when I can go into being very rude and don't mean to but these pregnancy hormones are worse then normal. And it tends to be harder for me to apologize or take constructive criticism well. But then again, I am female. And pregnant. And hormonal. And psycho Jen comes out more often then not.

There are so many things that you wouldn't think normally that you need to start thinking about once you get married.

For instance, do I change my taxes to married instead of single? Yes.  And how? Well, I am still in the process of doing this, since I am newly married and just learned about these things recently!

How do I change my name and when and where and with who!? All questions I have and still haven't really had answered so it still has yet to be done.

Get a joint bank account? We did, but for savings and bills purposes. We both have our own as well as a joint. It works out well for now. Except around Christmas... because noisy preggo lady over here wants to know where he is shopping and now can't find out.

Do you get to wear a wedding ring if you haven't had an actual wedding yet but you are married? That is really your call. My husband wears one, and I wear the engagement ring; for now.

How long is too long after you are engaged/married/pregnant to have a wedding? Well since I never do anything in the right order as anyone who knows me can adhere to that, we still have not had a wedding yet. People ask me why bother? Or why wait until the baby is born? Or why not do it right after the baby is born? Well... ask yourself the same question but in real life terms: Do you want to still be fat when you have to wear a wedding dress and look at these pictures for the rest of your life?
Answer: I think not! Do you want to be able to drink at your wedding and enjoy it and not have everyone feeling bad for you because you are 7 months pregnant and can't stand up straight? Answer: No thanks.

So my initial thought is wait until June 2015. The baby will be 1 years old and can be the flower girl and I will look just as nice as I did before the pregnancy. And I can drink.  Three favorable things for me. AND then we can leave said daughter with her grandparents and say SEE YA! and off to our honeymoon we go.

You can't do or have any of that with a 2 month old!

Who does the laundry? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who leaves clothes all over the house? Who picks it up? The answer is usually me. Except he does most of the laundry and he leaves clothes all over the house. If you asked me this last year, I would not have said me to any of it. I didn't cook before we moved in together and got married. That was a huge NO for me. And here I am, cooking almost every night. Who thought it could be so easy?

Married life is hard. The glitz and glam is the nice pretty part. The rest is the tough dirty hard work. But it is worth every minute of it for me. I learn something new about him and myself every day.

And compromise. What I am not good at. Compromise and pick your battles. I am not quite there yet but I am focusing on both of those aspects.

More about crazy preggo Jen to come.

It's a GIRL!!!!

Due June 1, 2014!!!!

I just love this picture for so many reasons.  Especially the arrow between the legs! Ha ha 

We found out right before Christmas. What an awesome surprise. 

Names we are liking .....

Daniela Josephine
Hailey Josephine
Gabriela Josephine 

Any suggestions? We are on the perfect name look out! 

Monday, January 6, 2014

Teaching in the South Bronx

This is absolutely true.

Whoever said teaching was an easy job because you got so many vacations, was a complete idiot.

Teaching is not an easy job.

In fact, it is one of the hardest, most stressful, and time consuming jobs I have ever had in my entire life.

Not only do I have to be at work at 7am and don't leave work until 4:45, but then I go home or on the weekend and I write lesson plans, I grade papers, and I have to enter grades in. Or do whatever crazy thing my administration needs me to do.

I have the privilege of teaching 5th grade ELA and Social Studies in the South Bronx. Don't get me wrong; I am completely grateful for getting this teacher job. When people say in the teaching world, the only way you will get a job is if you know someone, and they are ABSOLUTELY 100% correct. I would have never found this school if I hadn't went to college with one of the administrators. I lucked out. That is for sure.

But then step into my classroom and take the crazy children that are in it, and every day I wonder, did I really luck out? Or am I totally insane for trying to teach these kids anything. 

Some of them are incredibly smart; I was even surprised. And sometimes, with the attitudes that come out of these 5th grade kids, I truly forget that they are 9 and 10 years old and are in 5th grade. Their smart ass comments can drive someone completely insane. But then again, in the South Bronx, you have to take it with a grain of salt.

These kids lives are like no other school I have worked at. I am used to the rich white kids in upper Westchester. And if you have never heard of Westchester before, it's a ritzy area that has money. Switch over to the South Bronx, it is like a completely different environment.

I can say my first week starting there was the hardest week of my life. I was newly pregnant and my stress level was on 100. I was fighting for respect with 42 5th graders and they absolutely did not want to give to me. The teacher before me I found out was a straight up evil woman and she would make fun of them in front of the whole class and make them feel bad. I was not about that life. So now trying to win over these kids and get them to listen and stop talking was very, very, verrrry difficult.

At times I was so overwhelmed not knowing the ways of the class, not knowing their names, or their habits, or what we were teaching (which I have to create the whole history curriculum --- no big deal! --- and then time manage correctly so I am not doing work until 8pm at night, and then make sure that when the principal walked in the room these kids weren't going psycho. 

So, you can say I my plate FULL! I never thought it was easy, but in grad school, they don't tell you or teach you these kind of things. No one can prepare you for what you will deal with in the South Bronx. I don't actually think my school or my kids are dangerous, but getting out early on Halloween because its gang initiation day...... that's pretty new to me.

Or kids coming in with strange cuts on their arms or faces... also new to me. 

In my opinion, they are in school for too long. Our charter school hours are way too long and by 9th period at 4:00, these kids are checked out. They are also in a school with high schoolers! I think 5th graders should be still in elementary school - not with seniors who are 18!! It just really changes how they act and making them grow up fast.

On the other side of that, these kids are taking public transportation like city buses and subways to get to the school, all by themselves. They are 9 and 10 years old walking alone early in the morning and at night being with strange people on the buses and subways and at that age, forcing them to be grown up.

These kids needs to know what's happening at all times and they have to worry about getting jumped on the way home or shot! Those are things that kids at the ages of 9 and 10 shouldn't have to worry about. Ever.

This is just the beginning of my stories coming out of the South Bronx. Overall, as much as I hate my kids, I like them too. They frustrate the hell out of me, but I want to give them a fighting chance. I have a lot of knowledge to share, and even if in their other schools before me they haven't learned shit, at least I know that coming out of my classroom, they will know how to write an essay, and they will know the 50 states in the US, and they CAN spell words and they CAN be responsible. 

I will not fail them. 

This is my chance to change lives. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Operation New Friends

Best friends ♥

Isn't it nice to always believe that your friends will always be there for you no matter what?
Wouldn't it be the perfect world if no one ever moved away and you all lived in the same neighborhood?
Or wouldn't it be great if people never got jealous?

All of these things are just wishes that you think of when you're in middle school or high school or you just met new friends in college. I have never had luck with friends, especially those who were girls, until I went to college.

I wasn't one to have lots of close friends, but many acquaintances. But when I did find those girls who I actually liked, I wanted to keep them around for good. 

It's understandable but also unfortunate how you for so many years can be so close to people but once you get some miles inbetween you, its like cell phones, facebook, email, letters, etc. don't exist anymore. We are literally not in the age anymore where you just cannot contact someone; even if they move to another country. It is quite literally as simple as downloading a free chat app on your iphone. 

Twitter, gchat, gmail, skype, whatsapp, tellatalk, google talk, text messages, emails, facebook, facebook chat.  I mean, I could really keep going for hours with the amount of free shit that is out there for social media in order to be in contact with people.

The real point is: can you take the 2 seconds out of your life to ask a friend, someone who was your best friend, that you used to talk to everyday, how they are? And I am not even talking about a phone call here, because quite honestly, who really makes phone calls these days anymore? I have tried to think of one of my girl friends that I could actually call on the phone and they would answer the first time I called.... and I come up with zero. How sad. 

The meaning behind my post here is that when life changes, so does your friendship. When things don't go exaclty how everyone would like and not everyone is happy, it can really changes things in friendships. For example, money can make and break friendships. Especially when living with people and money is involved. You would think that it really wouldn't matter because hey, she is your best friend or they are your friends, but in actuality, it is not quite that easy.

There are so many factors in life that will bring friendships to a lower level. I have noticed that with my friends that have kids and move away, they tend to get very selfish. The world really does only revolve around them, their family and their kids. And maybe when I have my daughter I will start to see where they are coming from, but in the mean time? I really don't understand. 

Then there are the distances between people that causes friendships to decrease. Or the lack of contact. The facts: It is not hard to send a text message to your friend and ask how life is. It takes MAYBE 1 second to put in their name and type "hey how are you" and then it's on them to respond. Maybe even showing that you care about someone to see if they are alive if you haven't heard from them in awhile. And then maybe I see things completely different from some people who I thought were my friends.

In the end, having all these friends, sharing all these memories and experiences before you are married and entering into your own family and focusing on that, those friends who can't deal with being apart of that life, will disappear. 

I have been searching my whole entire life for a friend that would be my older sister, my best friend, like in all the girly movies on TV. And the ones I found have come and gone and then the ones who I thought I could depend on, have changed when I recently got married and now having a baby. I guess maybe I expect too much out of people, but if my "best friend" was pregnant and you are such a wonderful friend, wouldn't you maybe offer to help them move? Or offer to hang out? Or text and say how are you feeling? 

Like I said, I guess i expect too much.

I am lucky to have married someone who shares these mutual feelings with me and he is my best friend. Of course it is not the same thing as having a girl I can go shopping with or share stories about my husband when I am mad at him with, but I definitely got lucky on that end.

Now as I am 5 months pregnant and beginning to plan my wedding... this is when it really shows WHO are your REAL friends and actually want apart of this new exciting life you are creating for yourself, and then who are the people who just want to be there for the free cake and free alcohol. 

In the end, the most important part of life, is your family. Now that I have made my own little family, my relentless efforts that I took to make sure my friends knew I cared about them and how much I would do for them, is changing, while I am trying to do what's best for me.

What's best for me, and what's in the best interest of my friends who are not starting a family, are totally different things. While I can respect that, it is seemingly difficult for people who used to be my drinking buddies. Totally understandable, but it's time to find people who have the same values in life as my husband and I.

That being said.... how do people in their late 20's find new friends!?



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