how do you control yourself when it comes to your heart? i am having a really hard time doing this. It's hard to control how you feel and then match it with what is the right decision and what others say is right as well.
love blinds you from seeing what the truth is. i know this, i have been blinded many times. and sometimes i wish i could see through it, but usually its too late and i don't see it until after shit has hit the fan.
the heart wants what the heart wants, and it over powers the brain and any sort of logical thinking that you can have. it's nearly impossible to ignore, and never feels okay when you try to. how do you stop yourself from loving what is wrong and believing in what is right? I have yet to understand how to do this.
it's so hard to look around at some couples and see how they are so happy and building their lives together and i can barely even keep someone wanting to stay with me for less than a year. i dont get it. all i want to do is be with someone. someone who wants to be with me and i love them and they love me back.
i dont want to be single. i am so over it. i want nothing to do with other people. i dont want to go on dates. and i dont want to kiss anyone else, let alone anything else. it is driving me nuts. to have fallen for someone who hasnt fallen for me.
and that again, brings me back to battling between my heart, which is the totally unreasonable desire i have for M, and my brain, which is telling me to run far, far away from him.
and i can't do it. and i dont know why, and i cant push the feeling and i know it will get worse because i don't really know if he wants to be with me and i dont know when ill be able to get myself to walk away.
i guess only time will tell.