i had a breakdown today and i text M and said way too much stuff that i shouldnt have and let down my stronger guard that i had before. his stupid status on bbm (which i would very much like to delete off my phone if i wasnt a complete asshole)
i wish i hadnt because after talking to Micher, who's helped me tremendously through this whole mess thank god other wise i woulda jumped off a bridge by now, i realized that i sounded like a desperate tool. And here I am trying to sound like a tougher person who can handle this. And then I do this.
Everything is so frustrating. I don't understand why nothing just works out in my favor.
The great thing about today besides that whole fiasco was that I observed a special education class and LOVED it. Really really liked it... I was surprised, i thought i wasnt going to like the crazy kids lol... and I really did!!!!! It kept me occupied and interested the whole entire time.
I did get offered a job at a daycare right down the road to work in the infant-toddler room... but it does pay really bad. So I am going to see if there is anyway if I work there part time if I can still get unemployment. Soooo.... that would be awesome if that were possible because then I would be busy and still be making enough money to pay my rent.
Nothing is ever easy for me. Ever.