Please me like you want to

Perfect song for my life right now.








Don't do me any favors
matter of fact why don't you
do yourself a few

your presence ain't nobody's blessing
I've got plenty of other things
I could do

oh no, not another excuse
your tired silly games
for me are just no use

and now it's plain for me to see
you're with somebody
that you don't want to be

so won't you
please please me like you want to
not like you have to
or won't you just go on and leave me
leaving me is the least that you could do

you could have spared me
so much misery
and told me you just wanted
a friend

believe me there is a difference
when you mean it
and when you pretend

or was I just your habit
cause I know a habit
is a hard thing to break

but won't you spare me
a little mercy
there's only so much
so much that I can take

so won't you
please please me like you want to
not like you have to
or won't you just go on and leave me

leaving me is the least that you could do 

Another Week Down.

{picture}

i had a breakdown today and i text M and said way too much stuff that i shouldnt have and let down my stronger guard that i had before. his stupid status on bbm (which i would very much like to delete off my phone if i wasnt a complete asshole)

i wish i hadnt because after talking to Micher, who's helped me tremendously through this whole mess thank god other wise i woulda jumped off a bridge by now, i realized that i sounded like a desperate tool. And here I am trying to sound like a tougher person who can handle this. And then I do this.

UGH

Everything is so frustrating. I don't understand why nothing just works out in my favor.

The great thing about today besides that whole fiasco was that I observed a special education class and LOVED it. Really really liked it... I was surprised, i thought i wasnt going to like the crazy kids lol... and I really did!!!!! It kept me occupied and interested the whole entire time.

I did get offered a job at a daycare right down the road to work in the infant-toddler room... but it does pay really bad. So I am going to see if there is anyway if I work there part time if I can still get unemployment. Soooo.... that would be awesome if that were possible because then I would be busy and still be making enough money to pay my rent.

Nothing is ever easy for me. Ever.

Interactive Thursdays!

Question...

What do you do when you're sad and you want to feel better?

My Answer...

I guess what I usually do is talk to my friends and get their opinions on whatever the situation is and try to talk about it as much as possible so I can understand the situation and help myself get out of it.

Another thing I will do is write in my blog, and talk about it here... I have found that helps so much because people will actually respond and write back and they are unbiased because they don't know the situation. 

Other then that... either reading a book, or getting out of my house is usually the best thing possible.

Post of the Week Submissions!

{picture}

The winner from last week's Posts of the Week Submission is...... Beyond My Smile and her post was Jamaica - Day 7 -Part 1.  


I chose this post because she met her father!! I think that is so amazing and they look very happy in it. It is a very touching post to read about what it's like to meet a family member for the first time and I am glad she was able to share this. 




And it's time to enter again!!! 


It's Wednesday. The half way point in the week. There isn't really anything special about Wednesday's at all.
That's why I want your posts of the week. Every Wednesday. Here (below)

If you....
have a favorite post of yours that you've written, post it here
like someone else's post and think it should belong, post it here
something really important happened and people need to know, post it here

Whatever it may it, it belongs here. Then on Sunday I will pick the winner of the week. If you have any problems trying to submit your post, please let me know!

I look forward to seeing your favorite submissions!

I Can't Wait to Find This...

I hate being single. It's never been my thing. I like being with someone, I give a lot. I am very unselfish and I love to make other people happy.
I just wish the people I want to make happy wanted me back.

Maybe one day...

{picture}

San Diego Advice

{picture}

Anyone have any advice on where I can go in San Diego?
I am specifically looking for.....

coffee shops (of course)
boutiques
vintage clothing stores


anything along the lines of the "must see" things!

San Diego, Irvine, LAX Here I come!

So Italy turned out to be literally too expensive unfortunately, so I made another plan. Go see Sara in Irvine California, rent a car and drive to San Diego. Its 2 hours to San Diego. I had to do it.
I've never been to either so I am very excited!

Nothing changed with M this weekend, after everything that I did for his birthday, between the surprise party I had planned and went through with to the Knicks game that I got him tickets to for his birthday. He STILL doesn't know what he wants ... if he wants to be single or not. Or wants to see what its like to be alone.

Okay. So be alone. Fuck you.

I can't handle it. I wasn't expecting anything from this weekend, but I was at least thinking it would change somethings, and it didn't so I honestly can't just sit here and wait for him.

Although I did tell him that even if he did change his mind, I don't know if I would want to be with him again. And he wasn't too thrilled with that answer. So.

I hope he gets a taste of reality when I jump on the plane to California.

I don't care. I needed to get away. I COULD get away..and I am. So I am just looking forward to spending time with Sara and driving all over Southern Cali.

Is there anywhere in San Diego that I need to go?! Please let me know... I make my way there :)




ps.... the winner of the Winter Giveaway is... Kendra from Silkybowties!   Send me your address when you can :)    jennifera328 at gmail dot com.