No one ever tells you what you need to do when you get married. Or how things change. And the compromises you will have to make. Or what it really means to be actually married to someone.
Without all the glitz and glam of getting married, were you really ever prepared for what happened once that all ended?
I have been the single girl who did what she wanted and was rude and mean to whoever I wanted to and got away with it because my mind set was I didn't need them as much as they thought they needed me. Clearly I have been hurt before and that was the aftermath! But it worked out well for me for so long, that it took a while (and if you asked my husband) the transformation is still happening.
I must admit, there are times when I can go into being very rude and don't mean to but these pregnancy hormones are worse then normal. And it tends to be harder for me to apologize or take constructive criticism well. But then again, I am female. And pregnant. And hormonal. And psycho Jen comes out more often then not.
There are so many things that you wouldn't think normally that you need to start thinking about once you get married.
For instance, do I change my taxes to married instead of single? Yes. And how? Well, I am still in the process of doing this, since I am newly married and just learned about these things recently!
How do I change my name and when and where and with who!? All questions I have and still haven't really had answered so it still has yet to be done.
Get a joint bank account? We did, but for savings and bills purposes. We both have our own as well as a joint. It works out well for now. Except around Christmas... because noisy preggo lady over here wants to know where he is shopping and now can't find out.
Do you get to wear a wedding ring if you haven't had an actual wedding yet but you are married? That is really your call. My husband wears one, and I wear the engagement ring; for now.
How long is too long after you are engaged/married/pregnant to have a wedding? Well since I never do anything in the right order as anyone who knows me can adhere to that, we still have not had a wedding yet. People ask me why bother? Or why wait until the baby is born? Or why not do it right after the baby is born? Well... ask yourself the same question but in real life terms: Do you want to still be fat when you have to wear a wedding dress and look at these pictures for the rest of your life?
Answer: I think not! Do you want to be able to drink at your wedding and enjoy it and not have everyone feeling bad for you because you are 7 months pregnant and can't stand up straight? Answer: No thanks.
So my initial thought is wait until June 2015. The baby will be 1 years old and can be the flower girl and I will look just as nice as I did before the pregnancy. And I can drink. Three favorable things for me. AND then we can leave said daughter with her grandparents and say SEE YA! and off to our honeymoon we go.
You can't do or have any of that with a 2 month old!
Who does the laundry? Who cooks? Who cleans? Who leaves clothes all over the house? Who picks it up? The answer is usually me. Except he does most of the laundry and he leaves clothes all over the house. If you asked me this last year, I would not have said me to any of it. I didn't cook before we moved in together and got married. That was a huge NO for me. And here I am, cooking almost every night. Who thought it could be so easy?
Married life is hard. The glitz and glam is the nice pretty part. The rest is the tough dirty hard work. But it is worth every minute of it for me. I learn something new about him and myself every day.
And compromise. What I am not good at. Compromise and pick your battles. I am not quite there yet but I am focusing on both of those aspects.
More about crazy preggo Jen to come.