Sunday, January 5, 2014

Operation New Friends

Best friends ♥

Isn't it nice to always believe that your friends will always be there for you no matter what?
Wouldn't it be the perfect world if no one ever moved away and you all lived in the same neighborhood?
Or wouldn't it be great if people never got jealous?

All of these things are just wishes that you think of when you're in middle school or high school or you just met new friends in college. I have never had luck with friends, especially those who were girls, until I went to college.

I wasn't one to have lots of close friends, but many acquaintances. But when I did find those girls who I actually liked, I wanted to keep them around for good. 

It's understandable but also unfortunate how you for so many years can be so close to people but once you get some miles inbetween you, its like cell phones, facebook, email, letters, etc. don't exist anymore. We are literally not in the age anymore where you just cannot contact someone; even if they move to another country. It is quite literally as simple as downloading a free chat app on your iphone. 

Twitter, gchat, gmail, skype, whatsapp, tellatalk, google talk, text messages, emails, facebook, facebook chat.  I mean, I could really keep going for hours with the amount of free shit that is out there for social media in order to be in contact with people.

The real point is: can you take the 2 seconds out of your life to ask a friend, someone who was your best friend, that you used to talk to everyday, how they are? And I am not even talking about a phone call here, because quite honestly, who really makes phone calls these days anymore? I have tried to think of one of my girl friends that I could actually call on the phone and they would answer the first time I called.... and I come up with zero. How sad. 

The meaning behind my post here is that when life changes, so does your friendship. When things don't go exaclty how everyone would like and not everyone is happy, it can really changes things in friendships. For example, money can make and break friendships. Especially when living with people and money is involved. You would think that it really wouldn't matter because hey, she is your best friend or they are your friends, but in actuality, it is not quite that easy.

There are so many factors in life that will bring friendships to a lower level. I have noticed that with my friends that have kids and move away, they tend to get very selfish. The world really does only revolve around them, their family and their kids. And maybe when I have my daughter I will start to see where they are coming from, but in the mean time? I really don't understand. 

Then there are the distances between people that causes friendships to decrease. Or the lack of contact. The facts: It is not hard to send a text message to your friend and ask how life is. It takes MAYBE 1 second to put in their name and type "hey how are you" and then it's on them to respond. Maybe even showing that you care about someone to see if they are alive if you haven't heard from them in awhile. And then maybe I see things completely different from some people who I thought were my friends.

In the end, having all these friends, sharing all these memories and experiences before you are married and entering into your own family and focusing on that, those friends who can't deal with being apart of that life, will disappear. 

I have been searching my whole entire life for a friend that would be my older sister, my best friend, like in all the girly movies on TV. And the ones I found have come and gone and then the ones who I thought I could depend on, have changed when I recently got married and now having a baby. I guess maybe I expect too much out of people, but if my "best friend" was pregnant and you are such a wonderful friend, wouldn't you maybe offer to help them move? Or offer to hang out? Or text and say how are you feeling? 

Like I said, I guess i expect too much.

I am lucky to have married someone who shares these mutual feelings with me and he is my best friend. Of course it is not the same thing as having a girl I can go shopping with or share stories about my husband when I am mad at him with, but I definitely got lucky on that end.

Now as I am 5 months pregnant and beginning to plan my wedding... this is when it really shows WHO are your REAL friends and actually want apart of this new exciting life you are creating for yourself, and then who are the people who just want to be there for the free cake and free alcohol. 

In the end, the most important part of life, is your family. Now that I have made my own little family, my relentless efforts that I took to make sure my friends knew I cared about them and how much I would do for them, is changing, while I am trying to do what's best for me.

What's best for me, and what's in the best interest of my friends who are not starting a family, are totally different things. While I can respect that, it is seemingly difficult for people who used to be my drinking buddies. Totally understandable, but it's time to find people who have the same values in life as my husband and I.

That being said.... how do people in their late 20's find new friends!?


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