How is being single so hard? Between the having emotions for more than one person and the being ditched and let down and the not being able to hold anyone to anything... it's fucking stressful!!! I don't understand how people do it!! I have never been good at this but I guess I am working on it... apparently I am very very bad at this.
I apparently make people feel 'trapped' so then I end up having to back off and I can't be myself,,, and that fucking sucks too.
I mean i guess i do it to myself because I made the "rules" but since I am such an emotional mess, it really wouldnt do anyone any good to be in a real relationship with me anyway.. I mean I still am not completely over T yet.. I can't even try to give someone the full 100% they deserve. It is not fait to them.
I dont know what the hell I want. Is that bad? Should I? Things have gotten weird with people so I really don't know what to make of that or how to take it. The only thing I could think of to do what to step back and be less 'needy'. I didn't realize I was like that... but it is good to know, so I don't continue to be like that.
And then you have others, who are around and around and then Gone! Like what?! Did i miss something? Who knows... It sucks to see them and wonder wtf happened and is it going to happen again or was that it?
I think i need to just do me.... it's so hard... i am very much a person that likes to be around people all the time. But it looks like my options are very slim.