There are a lot of things that have been bothering me that I can't really write about on here, which makes me even more bothered. So I am going to write in brief about it but you'll get the picture..here is one thing.
I sent out an email to V (the ex best friend) on Saturday night. I don't know what really made me do it but I have been deciding for a while and I kept it short, basically just apologizing for going down the path that I did and leaving her behind and picking T over her. She hasn't written back yet. I dont know why I chose that night to write her back.. I have a slight idea what why, but thats neither here nor there.
I dont know know how i feel about her writing back... i dont know what to expect. I know that it would be crazy and so different.. and probably natural at the same time. She was literally like my sister. And the three of us... we were like sisters as well...
I honestly miss it a lot.. but at the same time, my real fear was what if T wanted me back and then I became friends with V again? Then what?
That's why I waited so long, its been almost 7 months since T and I have been together and spoken to each other....and as much as it makes me horribly sad to say, he probably will never talk to me again and I have finally begun to accept it and let it sink in.
So there you have it... i did it...
..and now we wait.