The Crazy Ex.

Life can never go well for me all at the same time. There always has to be something wrong or going wrong or whatever you want to call it. 

Everything has been good with M and I. We get alone really well, we have fun together, we go out, we do things, we see each other, we like each other, we compliment each other..  etc etc.  One on going problem in our relationship from day one has been his psycho ex. 

She just will NOT go away.

It started with her showing up at his house one time before we were dating and me having to wait for him down the road in my car. Then her showing up at the bar we were at and punching him in the face and being carried out kicking and screaming to private number calls ALL of the time, to leaving stalker messages on his car.

Now, I really don't know what to do with this girl anymore. They recently stopped talking in like April or so after a crazy ridiculous relationship where they had been broken up for a long time and just talking. Then he met me and stopped talking to her. So she went off the deep end. "Taking it really hard' I really don't give a shit how hard you're taking it, its been MONTHS, back the f*ck off.

I've blocked her on facebook because apparently she was trying to stalk me too. It will be a serious problem when we run into each other at the bar because I will not let her walk away without hearing what I have to say to her and making it CLEAR that she needs to pretend like M is dead and not contact him anymore.

Does anyone have any experience with this? How do you not allow this to affect your relationship? I get so mad when she calls or leaves him messages on his car, I don't know how to not get mad at him..... 

Anyone with advice... please!! 

Ending August

Can you believe the summer is basically over?
How sad! You know what that means? Morrree traffic for school starting! :(
It also means slacking off isn't an option as much because it's September so its go time.

Decision time is coming up soon and everything is up in the air. I really don't know what to do or what choices to make. All I know is I have to apply for school soon and I need to take the PRAXIS I and I have fucking clue what is going on with my apartment. My roommate is yes and no every other day and I can't afford to sign anything for a lot of money since i have no idea what is going to happen next year. Really sucks..

Hopefully I will get a good answer really soon.

I had a decent weekend,,,, it was MUCH better then last weekend. Got to spend some more time with M, so that was good. We went to the park and hung out..so that was fun. Got to see this draw bridge. It was the first time M ever saw one so it was cute :)

This week is going to be really hard at work...especially with the 3 day weekend coming up!

How was everyone else's weekend?


Ps... join my candle swap. It will be fun!

Candle Swap!!!!! Join Now!

So I have been trying to think of something that will bring together our readers from blogs everywhere and I think the best way to do that with the summer coming to an end (on the east coast) would be to do a candle swap!!!!

Here is how it works:

You have until September 8th to sign up for the candle swap. After that I will swap your information with each other and then you can proceed with the candle swap. Hopefully I will get enough people but I think it will be a very cute idea!!

To Join...

-Leave a comment below with your email address so I can get you in and then I will email everyone to swap addresses. 

-Pass this along to as many people as possible.

-Maximum is $20 .... it doesn't have to be anything extravagant.. just something cute that smells good! Everyone can use an extra candle.

-When you mail it,, put one quote in the box... whether you hand write it, print it out,,, cut it out of a magazine... however it may be... but put one quote in the box.

Candles should be mailed by September 20th so that everyone will have theirs before October 1st, which I consider fall! lol

This should be really fun if it works out so lets make it happen! Twitter, blog, facebook, this! :) 

Fall Excitement!

I am actually really excited for the fall... Although September 1st is coming around and that is a rough time in my life from last year.. I can't believe it will have been a complete year since I have last spoken to or seen T.

This fall I am looking forward to a couple things...

-Pumpkin coffee
-The beautiful weather in New England
-Wearing sweaters and boots
-Pumpkin and apple picking
-Going around New England and seeing the trees changing
-Watching football
-October...my favorite month of the year!!
-Sleeping with the windows open


What are you looking forward to this fall?

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Kitchens.. and furniture

I recently have been thinking more and more about renting a house and the idea is really drawing me in. Too bad I live in one of the most expensive counties in the United States, otherwise this could totally happen as soon as possible.
Maybe I want to grow up too fast but I really want to have a house, a dog, a yard, a deck, nice furniture, flat screens, nice kitchen... you'd think that I were a cook and wanting to be a housewife the way that I talk.

Anyway, I have been checking out some furniture on CSN Stores and one cute piece of furniture I found under the dining table section, was this cute breakfast nook! Who even can say they have a breakfast nook... I would like to!

Do you have a breakfast nook? Because I'd love to see it! Obvioussslyyyyy this would be where I drank my coffee in the morning :-)

Life Changes Needed

After this weekends crazy events, it has changed my view on life a little bit. Life really is too short and I feel like I am wasting it away where I am right now.

Apparently there are a lot of choices that I have to make within the next month and I am not sure which way to go. I feel like this happens to a lot of people all the time, so I really want to get your opinions, so I'll try to lay it out as simple as possible because they're annoying and semi-complicated.

Living Situation Choices:
-Stay in my apartment now with my roommate now and sign a year lease (paying close to 1k a month)
-Stay in my apartment now with my roommate now and sign a 6 month lease.
-Find a cheaper apartment with more then just my roommate and sign a year lease.
-MAYBE move back home.

Job Situation Choices:
-Stay at my job as long as possible until they fire and keep getting paid the amount I get paid
-Look for another sales job that I hate and potentially make more or less money

School Situation Choices:
-Do the internship program which is this:  placed in a school during the day and take classes at night and they pay for your masters degree and you do this for a straight year and become a teacher.... then I can't work full time and only at nights or on the weekends which is not enough to stay in my apartment now.
-Work full time during the day wherever I can and take the classes at night and pay for my own degree.


I really don't know what to do...
What I do know...
All I do know is that I don't want to live at home, I don't want to move out of the area I live in, I'd do another apartment but I dont want to go back to CT. I want to be a teacher and as soon as possible, I can't take it anymore.

These teaching programs wouldn't start until January anyway so I have a little bit of time, but our lease renewal is due September 15th and then we'd have to move by October 31st. So the time is coming down.


Any advice?  I am really not sure what to do.

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How I Feel...

right now.

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Beautiful Etsy Shop

I found this beautiful Etsy shop on Bright, Bold and Beautiful and decided to check it out and found these amazing pieces!

I looooovvve her colors!! Check out the Honey Pot Shop!

Soooo pretty :)

Traffic Jam in China

You think YOUR traffic is bad?! Take a look at this!

Huffington Post reported about a 60 mile back up in China that is going on its 9TH DAY!!!!

Take a look at this article.

This is absolutely insane!

Quote of the Day

everything changes & it’s exciting & lovely & such an alluring part of life. everything happens for some reason. everything will work out & it will be such a beautiful ending to an adventurous tale. when things feel awful it’s hard to see the outcome. it’s hard to stay positive & stretch our limbs to the sky each day. people leave, we leave, & it’s always hard because you think: why didn’t they love me? what did i do wrong? do they care? what about me? & you let those questions, each question, hollow you out a little more until your body is the heaviest hollow there could be. 


you can feel the question, each question, ache in different parts. why didn’t they love me, how could they love someone more? it aches in your belly, keeps you from eating. what did i do wrong? your constant retelling of every moment spent together, analyzing, it aches your whole skull. do they care? the thought that they don’t care, that they don’t think about your needs or worries or wants, well that aches in all the limbs. these aches make us weak, they keep us in bed fearing sleep. they keep us from telephones, from computers, from friends. 


because ‘why did they leave, why did they leave me?’   we are self centered by nature. people exist in our lives because they are meant to. each person, lovely or awful. they exist for exactly the amount of time they should. they teach us things. little things, extraordinary things about ourselves, our lives, the everything around us. that doesn’t make it easier to say good bye. 


it doesn’t make it easier to think that they have finished their task, made you stronger, & we must be strong. we must be strong. you exist,& it is extraordinary.

{via little reminders of love}
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Surreal Weekend.

i must have jinxed myself in my last post about having a better weekend then week because it completely took the turn for the worst.

so we went to a black and white party in the city on Friday night. it was a lot of fun, met a lot of M's friends i had never met. had some drinks.. everything was going good. Once the open bar ended, around 3 i started to feel in pain and wanted to leave but left bad because M was having a good time so we stayed longer.

A fight broke out at the end of the bar, M rushed over there to hold people back. Apparently some kid got punched in the face because he bumped into someone. They fight got broken up and they brought it outside. I made sure I found M and he was okay and I ran to the bathroom. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, I saw everyone running downstairs and I run over my girl and ask her where M is. She doesn't know so I panic and run downstairs.

As soon as I run down the stairs I see his friend TT and i asked him if he was okay and he shows me his arm without saying anything and it had slashes on it and was bleeding. I ask him where M is and I look around to find him. I see in front of me everyone screaming and this kid fell to the floor. Everyone's yelling someone got stabbed, stay with us, turn him to his side.. etc etc..  I walk over to them because the guys on his back and I can't see his face and I couldn't tell if it was someone I know. I realized it wasn't at the same time I am calling 911 because I don't know if anyone else has. Little did I know this kid E is dying in front of me.

I find everyone that I am looking for and realize they are all okay. Finally they take E away in the ambulance. Everything is surreal. I feel like I'm in a bad movie.

M is talking to his friends in the streets trying to calm them down. We leave to drive roommate back to my house and right as we are about to lie down they call M to go back down there since he had to give a statement. We also get the call saying the guy stabbed, E, was dead. We drive back down. By now its 6am. He's freaking out about getting trouble for being there.

We get to the precinct and he has to go inside. He is in there for 6 hours. I sit in the car staring at the cross walk and everyone walking by for 6 hours straight. Waiting for him. I was not leaving his side, not then.

Finally we get to leave and we go home at 1pm and sleep till around 8pm and go get some dinner and go to the movies to try to forget about the day.

Probably one of the craziest nights (in a bad way) in my life. I've never been at a crime scene, let alone be around someone who got stabbed, let alone be around someone who was dying.

Granted you hear about this shit happening all the time, but it never really hits home until its close to you. That knife was meant for one of our close friends and if E hadn't stepped in to break up the fight, it would have been him.

It really makes you think about how short life is again and what you are doing with your life and how precious it really is.

If you feel like reading the article...

Article


Violence is never the answer. Ever.

happy weekend!

i am excited for the weekend. this week sucked bad. i am very happy for it to be over. between the being in pain and not being able to see M all that much, especially when he was on vacation, and me not being able to drink... it's just been shitty and i am glad its the weekend and i don't really have anything to look forward to besides not being at work.

you know when you just have one of those off, shitty weeks for no particular reason? well that was my week.. except with a kidney infection involved.

ughhh....

i hope it gets better.

anyone have any fun plans this weekend?

ER rooms and Kidney Infections

So last night was supposed to be a simple for M and I. We were going to get take out, go to the park and chill out. Half way through my day yesterday, I started to feel a lot of pain in my right side. By 4pm it was unbearable. I left to go to a walk in clinic because I decided I didnt need the ER at that point.

So I am waiting and waiting in the clinic and they tell me I need to go to the ER. Great job Jen on your ability to waste time is exactly what I am thinking. I now have to drive myself to the hospital and drink this nasty drink because I have to get a catscan. So I am driving all around trying to find the goddamn hospital and google maps is talking me all which ways.

By now, I am in extreme pain and crying and feeling like i am going to puke because I am drinking that drink. Still no hospital. FINALLY, i decide to go the complete opposite way, and I find it. I get inside they send me god knows where,,, a lot of walking is all i remember and once I get to patient registration, she sends me back down stairs to the ER. I mean seriously people? WALKING was not exactly what I could do right now.

Finally I get to the ER, and my mom gets there. I am sitting waiting to be called for the catscan and I am now feeling like i am dying. The pain is so bad. I really thought I was going to have to have surgery. I havent had surgery before but I wanted the pain to end.

They bring me into the ER and give me morphine and something to stop the nausea. And this whole time I am thinking where the fuck is M. Thank god my mom was there otherwise I'd be sitting alone in the ER.

I go in for a catscan, they give us the results 45 minutes later. This whole process has been about 4-5 hours now. M is still not there. They tell me I had a kidney infection and that I can leave and take antibiotics and don't need surgery. Thank God! No surgery.

As we are walking out the ER is when M pulls up. Its been 4-5 hours later since I got into the ER. I am pretty disappointed and upset but i'm high on morphine so it doesn't really matter to me at that point.

Look now his idea in his head was that I was going to need surgery and that I was going to be there all night. So since my mom was there in the beginning he would come and take over for the end. Okay. I get that.

Now... is it not right for me to be upset because he should have been there the whole time? Am i to except next time if I am dying in the hospital or need actual surgery, that he won't be there until he's done with plans? Because if it were the OTHER WAY AROUND, I would have dropped what I was doing at that moment and be there the entire fucking time, regardless who was there or not.

Granted, I wasn't dying nor did I get surgery, BUT I was in extreme amounts of pain and I wanted him there and he showed up 4 hours later, as we're walking out the door.

I mean I get it,,, this just happened out of no where, and he had shit he had to do.. like today, I am off from work but he has things to do. Granted he's off too.. he HAD to go do these things. I get it. Life doesn't stop for me. And i'm not asking it to. But if I'm really sick, even if its only ER room sick i'd take just that, and youre my boyfriend, be there. End of fucking story.

Give me your opinions... I really don't know how i feel about this besides really not important and wondering if he actually cares about me or does everything else come first and then me.

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Cellphones = The Devil

I have a love/hate relationship with cell phones.
I love my cell phone.
I have M's cell phone.
He is on it ALL OF THE TIME.

We dont get that much time together and his cell phone is always going off. I have made it very clear that I dislike it a lot and even had to ban him from his phone when we go out to dinner.

When we are out hanging out with his friends and every single one of them is on their phones, its like... why are we even hanging out? We might as well just be at home texting each other.

I don't get it sometimes. I understand the need to be involved with everyone and feeling important, but I don't get the point of why the need to be on the phone all of the time.

I don't check his phone and I have no idea who he is texting all of the time. I trust him but its like... when we're here with all of his friends and he is STILL on his phone... like who the hell are you texting now?

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you handle it? Because my solution will be smashing it on the floor soon and that's not the logical answer!!!

Cinque Terre, Italy

Beautiful....

This is off the coast of the Italian Riviera.

i will definitely go here.
has anyone ever been here?

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have a nice weekend!

have a fabulous weekend everyone! i drank waayyy to much last night and am barely making it through the day right now so hopefully i can go home and watch jersey shore before i have to go back out again! i actually went and slept in my car during lunch because i wouldnt have made it the rest of the day.

so with that being said... i am doing the dog shelter again tomorrow so that will be cool and then mets game on sunday night.  nothing crazy.. thank god!

any plans for this weekend?


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A Wonderful Weekend

I know.. it's Wednesday! But I had off on Monday and didn't get a chance to write about this weekend. I had a GREAT WEEKEND! I wish it wasn't over.
M and I drove up to my family reunion in upstate New York. We got lost so it ended up taking us 4 hours instead of 2, but nonetheless we made it! Between the family, bonfires, drinking, more drinking, hotel room fun, the county fair, more drinking, demolition derby, irish families, boyfriend, waking up at 4am and driving home, softball games, beautiful weather, movies, and soccer games... It was awesome to say the least.

here are a few pictures from the weekend...

the family..

the fair...

the multi colored chickens...

the ducks for sale for $5......

demolition derby...

the farm...

and my brother that couldnt make it upstate in time for the reunion...

and...

<3

how was your weekends :)

Ballerina Project

check out the ballerina project.

found via a cup of jo.