How do you feel about up and leaving from your current life cold turkey? Would you do it? Is that the best option? Have you done it? Would you recommend it if so?
Mine:
I know its not the best way to handle shit falling apart, by peacing out. But I feel like I also need to find myself again and I feel like being here and being influenced by everyone in my life, that I won't be able to find myself ever again (i have a huge post to write about this later!)
I also know that it would be challenging and difficult and totally different, and that could be amazing and awesome.
And leaving my life behind would also suck because there are so many memories and people and everything. But for the most part, most of the important things in it is coming to an end. So.... I am up in the air.
Thoughts?! Comments?!
What about you....?
38 comments:
I left mine, kept my friends and family close with the phone, email, facebook, etc. I'm loving every minute of it. But...I also knew I didn't belong where I was, so now...I feel like I finally made it home...
where did u go? whatd u do? if u dont mind me asking
So I guess I'm living this right now. To be honest my thoughts and feelings are up and down. There are moments or days where I'm loving my new place and life and then there are days when I'm like "I made the biggest mistake ever!" So I just go with the flow. I think if I had my boyfriend with me things would be easier but I always wanted to pick up and move somewhere completely on my own and I don't regret it even on those low days.
Moved from the midwest to Houston. I love the South...love the weather...love the palm trees..love my boyfriend (and his pool and hot tub don't hurt either..)...love it all. Totally cringe when I even think about my old life. I'm just...well...happy and ummm...lov'n it! (you're welcome for the plug McD)
awe that is awesome....did u move with ur boyfriend?
Nah. We dated long distance for about 2.5 years. During that time, he moved from the Northeast to TX and I followed about a year later. Things were tough for us for a long time (my story is on my blog...and quite the story it is..LOL) but even when I thought things weren't going to work out for us, I never regretted the move. The key is...I moved for ME (great job opportunity) not for HIM or to be with him. Yes...looking to move closer so we could see each other more often, but the fact that I moved to the same city was for ME and my job. (and I had - well...have...but I'm moving in with him soon - my own apartment...that way, I knew if I decided to kick his butt to the curb, I'd still be happy. LOL).
For the right opportunity I would do it in a heart beat. A new job, the right guy/relationship, winning mega millions? No questions asked, I'd go.
After many years of being stuck in the same small town where I grew up, my husband and I left. We were stuck in a cycle of dead end jobs and shoveling money out to my parents to help them. Now we have kinda cut ties with everyone but my family there.
My family comes to see me sometimes cause I can't really go see them cause Mike's uncle has us busy doing stuff with him on the weekends and he must have told Mike not to go around my family. This pisses me off as it is not his uncle's business. If I would like to see my family once every two weeks and just hang out and spend time with them I should be allowed to.
So I kinda left one vicious cycle for another. Hell I can't even pick out stuff to design our apartment. Every time I pick out something I like his uncle has to critize it or say "Well you should just go with (insert tacky ugly P.O.S. Wal-Mart furniture) cause (give stupid reason that makes no logical sense.)
It's like living near a really annoying mother-in-law. Not to mention my mother-in-law seems like the type to run off with the circus. There is just a lot of BS involved in living near anyone you know and it gets annoying. At least my parents never told me what to wear, what to eat, what to buy.
But when I think about how I left my former hometown behind I listen to Second Chance by Shinedown. I can totally relate to that song.
Oops...not sure I was clear...
J lived in the Northeast and I lived in the Midwest. We were long distance when we started. He moved to the South and we stayed long distance for about another year. Then I moved to the South as well. So...about 2.5 years total we lived approx 1000 miles apart. (I realize this isn't for everyone, but there's something to be said for getting to know a man over a long period of time before you are faced with seeing him every day...)
Well, let's see, I left Wisconsin for the unknown of NC when I was 20. Managed to tough it out for almost 10 years. Then I up and moved to Indiana, so far 1 1/2 years. I've always had someone there to help me out, a safety net.
Now, I'm ready for NYC. I think I'm more ready for that than anything I've been in my entire life and that terrifies me! No safety net, don't really even have any friends there.
Sometimes in life, you have to make that blind leap!
How do you feel about up and leaving from your current life cold turkey? Would you do it? Is that the best option? Have you done it? Would you recommend it if so?
If I wasn't married I'd pick everything up and move in a heartbeat! But since I am married I don't think it would be the best option for us right now. We have great jobs and our family is here. Although I can NOT wait until we move far FAR FAAAR away from Jacksonville! I repeat I can NOT wait! lol
I've gotten up and moved so many times in my life...part of me wants to settle down, and part of me knows that where I am now is not where I want to live for the rest of my life. There are people out there that say this every day and do nothing to get out of their current situation - but I have no family (except my younger brother who lives with me) here, so I've been applying for jobs and looking at Medical/Nursing Schools in a couple cities along the south east coast. I'm ready for a change and I would have absolutely no regrets picking up and moving cold turkey.
I've always been a mover (army brat), and I feel like it's one of the bravest, most refreshing things you can do! The new start, new people, new place-- the fortitude it requires helps you get to know yourself all over again. And then, suddenly, when you're done moving and happy and in a good place, you won't feel the need for it anymore :)
I left. It's been over a year now, and each and every single day I think of going back. I know this comment does NOT help you in any way. But is still the truth.
ah wow, congrats to all of u who had the guts to up and move :) i hope i will be joining u in the ballsy movement!!!!
i'd love to, but i dont think i have the guts to. besides, i just hate moving. i'm still thinking very thoroughly of where to settle down. i feel old like that :P and i;m trying to think of a place where i can stay away from all the troubles i.e family and ex-es.
yeah i know... its tough. and i HATE moving too. but i do it all the tinme.... i have moved so many times in my life!
Me and the husband are wanting to move. We've been married for just over a yr. Im dying to try someplace new but have no idea how to choose? I really wanna try Portland =) Hear its awesome!
I couldn't do it. I'm pretty excited about what I'm doing for the next couple of years. I'd quite like to move in with my bf but it's not going to happen yet.
♥
So would do it too except with my hubby and our doggie. I think i would be a missionary and travel the world:-)
Sooo...I think if you are totally miserable in your current situation a change might do you good. If this has to do with your boy, I know sometimes being away from the place is very helpful because if you remain in the same city is sometimes very painful, or it would be for me anyway. Lately I have felt very out of place with my friends and it has been painful. Not sure what I want to do but my boyfriend has been my rock so that is good so at least I have him. I think if you have the means to travel and you want to start fresh I think you should. After all, you only have one life to live and you deserve to be happy and find happiness. I wish you well sweetie. Here is a hug for you!
This is a difficult one which only you can answer.
However, having done it myself, I can offer some advice. Leaving everyone and everything behind can be quite a lonely experience but it also pushes you not to settle for second best and go out and fight for what you really want.
Some people leave to find themselves, whereas I left to lose myself. And I'm thinking of doing the same again in a few months time. All I would say is if you're thinking of doing it, do it for the right reasons and not because you are running away.
After I read this question, I thought, I bet she's got a lot to say about this one! Haha.
Looking forward to hearing more.
I did a couple of years ago: I was sick of normal life so got a working holiday visa and moved from Australia to Ireland. I went by myself, was gone for a year and totally loved it! I think everyone should do it. There's no rules, you know, if it doesn't work, just go back home. But you will love that you were brave enough to do it, it will give you the best boost. I recommend it :)
I went and moved to Ireland to do a Masters after undergrad. And while I wanted to move to MD or VA and start teaching there, I was offered a job back in NJ. But I love going away and working summer jobs where I don't know anybody and I get a fresh start for a few months :)
Good Luck in whatever you chose to do!
ah those all sound great!!!! maybe i will.... maybe i will...... we will see.. obvi i will keep u all posted!
Sometimes, I do have this urge to start fresh in a new city, move to Europe maybe...I would love to actually, even though there are so many people I love here. I think I would start by somehow landing an intership in a European magazine for like 6 months...a girl can always dream right?;) Good luck with your choices!
I peaced out I left LA and moved to Chicago I just couldnt take it anymore it was scary exciting awful wonderful and all that I needed! I am back now and its 10x better I think sometimes we just have to do it just be selfish and leave! =D Good luck to you.
I hope I could do that, for sure it's not easy and I'm always afraid my life is gonna get worse if I just ditch everything behind.
when the boy and i broke up last year...thinkingit was for good.. i had this thought engraved in my mind every day. i wanted to start over because everything i had in my life hurt and didnt feel worth it. now that things are better i see the brighter side of things BUT i honestly wish i could have a chance to do that. i think it'd be amazing, scary, exciting all at the same time. good luck dear :)
i did it before, like when i quit taking drugs and smoking. and i did it again by embracing veganism. but still, i did not leave my friends and family. so, i don't think it is much of difference. i thought about leaving everything behind though, like when i'm really depressed. but idk,there are just too many memories.
Oh, this is a gooood one. Now I have to think of a worthy comment...
I left once, I had lived in Florida and hated it I wanted to go back to the town I had lived in so many years before. I left without telling any friends I had made. I called a few months later and they had forgotten me hahahaha
But I was welcomed home in open arms, goes to show where I needed to be.
don't treat it as running away, treat it as a challenge. not a new life, but the same life with a new and exciting chapter. have lived on the other side of the world from my home for 14 months. have loved it. am now preparing to go home and am so excited.
You should definitely live abroad for a year. Living abroad was one of the single most important things that I've done. It seems like you're in a state of flux right now, but everyone can relate to that. We've all been there before or are there right now. So again, I highly recommend living and working abroad.
thanks des... any programs that u would recommend?
This is an extremely difficult question to answer because so much depends on what kind of experience you want to have. In my opinion, if you're going abroad I would choose either Europe or East Asia (Japan or South Korea).
My job sent me to Seoul, South Korea for a year and a half so I wasn't a part of any particular program. But I did have plenty of friends who were there working as English teachers (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). This is probably the easiest route to find employment in Asia. All they require is that you have a bachelor's degree and then they will issue you a visa.
Working in Europe is very difficult considering all of the rules of the European Union, so you're best bet is to go there to study. Again, I don't know what level your language ability is at but I always think that studying in England is always a safe bet.
I wish I could be more helpful about specific programs, but once you decide what part of the world you're interested in then I'd be happy to ask around and provide you with some better info.
I know it's a difficult time, but like I said earlier we've all been there before. Just take your time and make the decision that's best for you and you'll be fine. Take care.
Des
I can't imagine doing that right now. My parents just moved here and my life is going pretty swimmingly, even if I miss a lot of people back in Pennsylvania.
But when I moved here, to NC, I did just that. It had been somewhat planned, but four days after college graduation, my car was packed and I moved 500 miles south. It was crazy, leaving everything I knew behind to start over somewhere else. I had no job, little money, and only a boyfriend in a town I'd never seen. Best decision of my life though, hands down.
Would I do it again this moment? Probably not. I'm sort of anchored for the time being. But if back in time, would I have made the same decision? Undoubtedly.
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