Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Quick Version

Hi All

I will post more later, but for right now, my interview went good. But I won't find anything out until August 24th. So lame. So many people are leaving and everyone is quitting. It will be horrible :( I am eager to find out what is going to happen
droplet Pictures, Images and Photos
(random rain drop!)

As for T and I... oh GOD is what I have to say about. Saturday was good, we hung out went to dinner, just hung out. It was nice. Sunday, was another story, because I made plans to go to my parents and he felt (which he told me last night and not at the time) that I always make plans and he's just supposed to be "ok with it". So he ended up leaving and going to his friends house, which pissed me off his I invited him to my parents, and he just left and went to his friends. So i packed up the closet and moved some stuff to my parents.

So yesterday I asked him via text to talk to me later after work. He wanted to know what I wanted to talk about, I said US and he said he had nothing else to say. I told him that I wanted to see if I was the person that he sees himself being with. And he goes "No. not really. I don't see it"

I mean, what do you take from that? What am I supposed to think after that being said? That he wants to be with me? So I say I guess I'm going to move out then. In which he proceeds to say, isnt the place in ur name already? And so forth.
I said fuck it to talking later, because after that, I basically had no more to talk about, so I packed my stuff and went to my parents.
Later that night he text me saying "oh at the first sign of trouble you dissappear" Uhm, really? Like what am I supposed to do? Sit tehre and talk to you after KNOWING you don't want to be with me?! no.
So i call him and he's like you just dont get it.. blah blah blah and how I havent changed and all this shit. And im like, look. If you want to talk to me in person, I will be there tomorrow night (tonight).


We will be talking tonight. I don't know what is left to talk about. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see themselves with me! End of story. And I think it's just time for us to go our seperate ways....

Ugh. i hate this shit.


***I just want to appologize for talking SO much about T but right now I have to because it is basically the biggest thing going on in my life!! So i am appologizing for going step through step with this! lol ***




20 comments:

Iva said...

stay strong, this kind of stuff is tough. Everything will be ok, think of what YOU want ,and if YOU see yourself with him :) {I am glad the interview went well}

The Novelista Barista said...

thanks.... i am trying.. i hope things work out for the best, whichever way its supposed to go.

cgw @ accidentally, kle said...

you shouldn't be apologising - it's your blog and your life! i'm sure most of us reading would love to reach out to you and be there for you in the small way we can, virtually or not. best of luck for your chat tonight, i hope he doesn't cause too much upset :( *hug* x

Sonja said...

aw i puffy heart love you :) and everything will be okay! I know its tough right now but there's something better out there waiting for you, they just don't know it yet :)

& vent away if need be! that's what we're here for!<3

Fidgeting Gidget said...

I'm going to give you my honest opinion on this situation, because I had someone say the exact same thing to me once (about not seeing himself with me, although I THOUGHT we were a happy couple--we'd been together for four years). It didn't matter how much I wanted it to work, he didn't, and the fact that he finally came out and said that was a blessing, even though I didn't see it as such for some years after. If I would have stayed with him, I would have been forcing something that wasn't there--and think about the opportunities I would have missed--not only with other guys but in my life in general. It was really hard for me to see that at the time, I didn't....I'm saying this because I'm removed from the situation and I can look back on it for the good things that came out of it. Ok, I'm totally rambling, but the jist of what I'm trying to say is that when a door is closed, a window is opened. Just remember that.

Miss Mercedes said...

You are going to be GREAT! You absolutely deserve to be with a man who not only wants to be with you, but who cherishes you and can't stand the thought of being without you. If you don't have that, then you don't have near enough. The way I see it, no man deserves us who isn't fully into us and no man is worth us sitting around waiting until he figures it out. The man that deserves you isn't going to have to figure out anything...it's going to be right there in his heart and he's not going to be able to do anything except love you...

Will be thinking of you...

Jo said...

Relationships are work, but not this kind of work. Sure, people have to get creative, people have to compromise, people have to look within....that's the kind of "work" that people who love each other are happy to do.
It sounds to me like the work you are doing/would have to do to keep this relationship going is drudgery. And in the end it brings you pain.
You deserve to be happy. It shouldn't be this hard.
I commend you for seeing that it's time to move on! That is one of the toughest decisions a person can make!
Stay strong!! It may not seem like it now, but by closing this door you'll be opening countless others! :)

Kristina said...

You know what's best. Always go with your gut and you will be fine. Your right, you deserve to be with someone who wants or sees themselves with you, no need to sell yourself short. Good Luck!

Valerie said...

What a jerk. He says he doesn't see himself with you, but when you move out you're the one who doesn't care? Whatever. You don't need or deserve someone like that. Why live with all the confusion. You're a great and beautiful person. You deserve better. I hope things work out for you. I really do. Keep us posted. I never mind hearing about it.

mysterg said...

Time to kick his ass out of that door methinks!

You sound like you have made up your mind and that's what is important in any decisions you make - what you want. Be selfish, be strong and leave him regretting losing you.

Practically Perfect... said...

I'm glad that your interview went well. I'm not so glad to hear about your boyfriend troubles! I'm sorry that your dealing with this right now on top of everything else :-( It's good that you're talking face-to-face tonight - so much gets lost and confused over the phone and text messaging. I hope that your conversation goes OK tonight and that you're able to get some things ironed out. You're right about how it's kind of hard to stay when he says that he just doesn't see himself with you. What do you say to that?! "OK, so you don't see yourself staying with me, but let's just hang out and see what happens..."

Good luck :-)

Children of the 90s said...

You definitely never need to apologize on your own blog! I agree with what Jo wrote...it should be work to keep a relationship alive, but not the kind of work that feels like a chore or a burden. It can be difficult to move on but your own happiness should be at the top of your priority list. I'm thinking of you!

nicole addison said...

hm this brings back many many memories :( hang in there girl... http://myteacupsinpeony365.blogspot.com/2009/07/day-15.html go there and read the quote at the bottom.. it got me thru some very tough times...and still does. everything will be ok tho, i can promise you that. just keep your head up beautiful and itll all work itself out. but if you think you deserve better..which only you can decide..then you should go for it. f everyone and do what you want. if he is the person youre supposed to be with then trust me itll work out. i know that from experieance as well. i wish i could give you a great big hug! email me if u want to talk! xx

Ali said...

Sounds like you're a LOT better than this. You deserve to be treated like a QUEEN - don't forget that!

Stephanie said...

I hope the interview works out for you. And, dont apologize for venting.

PorkStar said...

Dude, that sucks hearing that. Totally understandable that you'd talk about it and him, it's your medium to vent away. I hope it all went well.

Rachel said...

Ok, first of all. You're a llowed to complain.

Also I am going to give you advice like fidgeting gidget.... I have been there. Trust me, as hard as it is, it's better for you to just cut ties immediately. Get the rest of your stuff out, don't call him, don't text him and keep yourself busy with anything and everything else.

He seems to not care, which, sadly, just might be all that he can say to you. :(

I'm sorry, darling.

Erny said...

oh no...that's hurtful. how can he say such a thing. i hope things will work out for you. hang in there.

Saii said...

the only thing I'm going to say is that ...
love conquers all...

if he really loves you, he's just confused and you both will get thru this time together...

OceanDreams said...

Glad the interview went well, hope when you hear back the response is good. And...about the bf, I just read your update and I am there for you. Take care of yourself and get something to cheer you up.

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