Monday, August 24, 2009

freedom ?


Freedom
Originally uploaded by Pascal -

i saw this picture on flickr and it made me think of my life.. and what is happening right now and I feel like I will be that bird soon. And everything is going to be very different after this week is over.
Should I be excited? Should I be scared? I don't know what I should be.
I am just going through the motions right now. As I walk in, he will walk out. It is so utterly depressing, you have no idea.
My mom came yesterday to help me pack up a lot more stuff, so there is a lot of emptiness in my apartment right now. Yet another depressing fact.

So here I am looking up amazing pictures on Flickr, still in this depressing apartment, counting the days until I find out if I still have my job or not and having the final days with T before we have to be out of our apartment and lives together.

September 1.

That is the last day we officially have to be together. Wow. I cannot believe it. It seems so surreal. Like it isn't actually happening... and that that won't be the last time we talk. And I will still be here in this apartment waiting for T to come home and MAYBE talk to me.. just maybe. And everything will be fine, and go back to normal.
But I know that it wont and it cant and it shouldnt.

so.. one more week.
holy crap.





8 comments:

Dana-Lynn said...

Girl you can make it. Just remember the qualities of the relationship that weren't right for you. Don't focus on T being a jerk, or whether or not you could have tried harder to make it work. You were unhappy, and you deserve to be HAPPY!

P.S. We called them "Dump Cookies" as a kid because we thought they looked like piles of dump. Apparently, as kids, we thought dump was funny...

Shop Girl* said...

Stay strong. xo

Rachel said...

you can do this

mysterg said...

To quote Mel Gibson: "FREEDOM!"

Yes there is sorrow, but there should also be excitement as a new chapter begins.

M.J. said...

I send my love. Keep your head up, girl.

amindinmotown said...

I can guarantee that many tears will flow that day you both move out. Trust me, I've been there.

My ex and I lived together when we split up, and we stayed living together for nearly two months as we both looked for somewhere else. And even though we were apart, finally moving out was heart wrenching.

It's not going to be easy, but be strong hun. You can get through it.

The Novelista Barista said...

thanks :(
so sad :(

Miss Mercedes said...

Oh honey...you got this. Don't fight your feelings. They're real...they're yours and they deserve to be felt and acknowledged. If you weren't feeling them, you wouldn't be living. We can't get through it...well...unless we go throug it. So...hang in there. Things are tough and lots of people have felt what you're feeling. God knows I have!

I'm thinking of you a lot...

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