A mild, mild case of addiction lately.
I don't know what it is, but lately I have just been wanting it all the time.
Do you think it could be from the lack of it that I had for the past four years?
T never liked to have sex with me. I don't get it.
When T and I dated, I never understood it. I dated J before T and my sex life with J was awesome. Granted he cheated on me and i hated him, we still had a great sex life regardless. Then with T, in the beginning it was a lot, then it progressively got less and less to a minimal of MAYBE once every 2 weeks, if not 3. It was so depressing. He didn't even touch me, let alone barely kissed me. I would have to kiss him and sometimes he would push me away.
When we did do stuff, it was for a short period of time and that was it. There was no passion, no kisses, no hugging. No nothing. I mean in a rare, once in a while.. randomly. Which is so sad!!! I am a very huggy, kissy, touchy, feely person!! I love to be touched and kissed and hugged and have my hair played with and blah blah blah. We had nothing. He would never try to kiss me, even if it was my forehead or something. Nothing! I was almost convinced that every long term relationship was like that..
I have recently changed my mind to believe that that is NOT true! It was just him. I am trying to find my way back into the loving my body and myself now and finding people who actually appreciate me.
I think being with T made my not like my body more than I didn't in the first place because he never wanted me. So now that there are people telling me otherwise, it makes me see things differently and I like it... it makes me feel more confident about myself, where as I used to think I was disgusting and fat (which honestly, I definitely was). Now that I have lost a lot of weight and am maintaining myself more than I was before, I would have to say that I am improving and I can see it for myself, I dont need other people to tell me it so I can believe them.
Tell me.... do you love your body? Did you have this problem with your man?