by Yessika at angel6033.blogspot.com
On a boring Saturday night the beginning of the end would begin, I did not know this.
I had decided to invite my best friend over for a night of movies and hanging out. At around 8 p.m. we found ourselves talking about guys and relationships. I had never had a proper boyfriend except for a few dates and crushes, I had nothing, I was only 16 this fact made me feel like a loser. Many of my other friends had already dated and in fact currently had boyfriends. My friend all of the sudden had a brilliant idea, she had a friend that she knew I had potential with. I agreed to give him a call, out of boredom and of course out of curiosity.
I suddenly found myself talking to this absolute stranger. I immediately liked him, not only from our conversation but from what my friend had already told me about him. There was only one downside, a HUGE downside; he was from another city in Texas and not a close one either. He lived 12 hours away by bus. I was not concerned about this since I figured it would not go anywhere, if anything I would just talk to this person and perhaps have a friend. That night my friend ended up leaving, when I returned from dropping her off I called him again, our conversation lasted 5 a.m.
We talked for months; I was smitten I loved everything about him. He was everything I had wanted in a boyfriend. Living in El Paso it was very difficult to find “my type” of guy around here. See I like rockers, punk, Goths, ect. I like a guy with an alternative edge and to top it all off, I love “white” guys. See, in El Paso there is nothing but Mexicans, and I am not being racist or anything, I am myself a Mexican but I simply connect better with “white” guys. Well Scott was everything, tall with piercing blue/green eyes, covered in tattoos and piercing.
He finally decided to come meet me for my birthday and after my high school graduation. August 11, 2005 to be exact would be the day I finally met him face to face. I spent the whole week counting down the days, minutes, hours, and then he was here! I drove to the hotel to meet him and when I saw him standing there from the balcony I thought I was dreaming. We spent a whole 5 days together. Night and day, we watched movies, talked, got to know each other, and drove around time in a daze. When he left on that Greyhound bus I knew I had fallen and fallen hard.
We continued for 4 years. The same was every 3 to 6 months he would come and spend a week with me. We talked on the phone non-stop in between. He wrote me letters, sent me videos, for my birthday or Christmas I could always expect a package at my door. I loved him like I have never loved anyone in my life. I gave him everything that I could. He was everything, and that is where I failed miserably.
From the start of our relationship I saw signs that he was a liar. I was very in love, so I ignored all the small signs. Now I know that he was a pretty bad liar, perhaps bad enough for it to be considered a mental disorder. So he once lied about his own suicide. He faked it, when I tried to break it off.
Everything ended very abruptly when I got a call from a woman a year ago. January 09’ she called me and asked me who I was. She then continued to tell me she was Scott’s fiancée. Not only that but she had recently given birth to a baby girl. He had been with her for 2 years. I had no idea about this at all. I mean at one point I might have suspected of him cheating, but never like this. Never a complete double life, which he had build over the life he had promised we would have. I never will know how he did it. How he managed to still come see me, buy me stuff, call me, and send me money when he had a pregnant fiancé at home. Everything fell apart. I never heard from him again. The end of our relationship was through HER, not him.
It has been a year and all the promises he made me still remain in my heart. I will forever love him, I know that. I do believe that I am over him and since then I have dated other guys. I always held hope that I may hear his voice again, just a call, some kind of closure. I have so many un-answered questions. What happened?The last time I spoke to him, he asked me to marry him; he said he had the ring ready and that he would come down here immediately, that I just had to say the word. I said no. We were already so damaged. I wonder now what he would have done had I said yes.
*if you have a broken heart story you would like to share, please email it to me*