I am trying to plan my 25th birthday and I am going back and forth with ideas and what to do.
Last year I was in Costa Rica with T and I went surfing on my birthday. It was literally the best birthday I have ever had. I have been thinking about it more and more lately now that it is getting closer and I am trying to figure out what to actually do and more and more of me is getting more depressed thinking about it and how I am not going to be able to spend it with him in Costa Rica.
I know that sounds so petty to be depressed about, but I am.
So I am trying to get people together to go to Jamaica... or something like that. I am all over the place because there are so many places I want to go but I only want to go for 4 days.
It is hard to explain to my friends this since I am more T to an extent, but sometimes I just get really emotional and can't seem to deal. For the most part I am too busy trying to be strong for other people so I have forgotten about myself, my feelings and the whole that went down in my life. Just basically completely ignored it.
So at this moment, I am trying to consider everyone when making my decision and I want to be reasonable about the price and whatever blah blah blah. But right now, the fact that the only definite person I ever had in my life to go anywhere with besides my ex best friend (who I really need to do a post about like tomorrow) and T, and they are both not in my life anymore and they were both always down to go wherever, whenever, regardless... and I am lacking that person in my life. So I am trying to find others. To fill the void. And it's not necessarily working... and that depresses me. A lot.