I am trying really hard to be the good friend and telling them what they need to hear and being there for them and doing as best as possible to help them so they dont have to be in pain anymore.
And the worst part is, nothing I say actually matters. I'm not saying they don't appreciate it, they just don't listen. But then again, I probably wouldn't listen either. And I am sure it's frustrating to my friends as it is to me when they can't help me.
And then sometimes I get too involved and feel like I might be going overboard with what I say. So then I end up feeling like the asshole and that I was being mean.
But somethings people need to hear what they don't want to hear right? I am supposed to be the one to tell them the things that are ugly and brutal and suck really bad and just want to forget. I am supposed to remind them so they don't forget why they shouldnt go back. Right? Is that not what I am supposed to do?
Sometimes I am not sure... I know I am glad now that I had people to tell me when something was really messed up and that I had to remember what it was REALLY like... because I was so blinded by sadness that I just didn't want to be sad anymore.
Does that happen to you? Being blinded by sadness that you would do anything, ANYTHING to make it go away? Even if it was to go to something that was completely wrong for you?
I think everyone has.
It sucks to have to sit back and watch people torture themselves and not be able to help.
I am beginning to accept that some people just need to fall hard before they can get back up. I know that is what I did and I know that is exactly what people need but it is SO hard to sit there and just watch it happen. It's almost like I want to be like... WAKE THE FUCK UP!
But I can't... because the only way to walk away is to learn. And learning lessons like these, really hurt.
it's so frustrating :(