Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Broken Heart Files - Novelista Barista

photo credits: abmist|sepx
(plus my addition)

Total Dating Time: 2 and 1/2 years
Total Breakups: 2
Speaking in 2009?: NO
Douchebag Status: Big one.

We met at a coffee shop (go figure)

He worked down the road at the ski shop. He always wore a red hat, so I could see him right as he was about to enter to store and my heart would flop.

My crazy boss introduced us and we started eating lunch together everyday. He would come in up to two times a day. We got past the phone number thing and started to hang out.

I was sort of dating someone at the time but we still hung out as friends, but a LOT. Jay would take me surfing for the first time, rock climbing for the first time, WAKE boarding for the first time, cliff jumping for the first time, riding on a motorcycle for the first time. All these memories. He took me to my LOVE Portsmouth and Maine for the first time. We did many things like that all the time, and it was real fun when we were just friends.

We went away to one of his friends house, we were just going "as friends". No problem, I could handle that... although I was sort of dating someone, I didn't see Jay as the boyfriend type for me. So we go, I meet his mom, go to his hometown, meet his best friends. We go cliff jumping in the POURING rain, he kisses me up on top of the cliff right before we're about to jump together, holding hands. I mean, like love story to the fullest. I was smiling, ear to ear.

I believed I was in love, for the second time.

Although there was one weird thing that always was in the back of my mind with him; he lived in his ex-girlfriends families house. IN HER BED. In the same ROOM as her sister... while she was away riding horses in Europe.

Talk about sketchy and insane right? Well, apparently they were over, so I had no reason not to believe him, right? I was all trustworthy and happy go lucky and "oh he's just an awesome guy" ROLLING off of me.. or in other words: naive and dumb!

Everything was going GREAT. We started dating in the summer of '04 and by the time January came, we were like inseparable. That is.... until the EX came home... and to HOME I mean to where he was living.. in her bed...

So he came over and stayed with me one night, and she was home for a week, and that was the last time I saw him until after she left. He kept ditching me to hang out with her. I was mortified and heart broken. And he kept saying things like... oh, we're just friends and I haven't seen her in so long.. and some bullshit. But from that week on... I never NEVER trusted him again like I did.
And I can say, from that MOMENT on, our relationship went completely downhill.

I don't know why I allowed him to walk all over me like he was able to, but I did. I was still in college, he was REALLY good at lying and was very manipulative to having me think that I was nuts.

We broke up finally in May of 2006. This is the very short version of what happened between Jan 05 and May 06. It could go on for like 15 posts if I were to talk about everything!

So now everything was rocky and I was getting to be kind of bitter because he started to talk to other girls now. He had a lot of friends that were girls already which I wasn't fond of the idea.. but dealt with it. By the end of summer 05, we broke up, because he needed his space. So I gave him space, heart broken yet again, and went a couple weeks without talking to him. Finally we talked it out and sort of began dating again.

One day his co-worker comes into my coffee shop and starts talking about Jay and his girlfriend.. and I'm assuming since he said quote "girlfriend" that he was not talking about me! I questioned of his girlfriend he spoke of since had just slept with me the night before.... His friend looked AMAZED to hear this information since the girl was his good friend. We sat down and talked about this, I heard about her, etc. Soon enough, I have Jay coming to talk to me, and I was basically told him, CHOOSE. Me or her. He goes on to say how he didn't know they were dating, etc etc.. Whatever, all lies, but he tells me and I believe him sort of, enough to the point to take him back to my house. Again, naive and dumb.

This whole situation went on until around New Years when he would start avoiding me or he would leave me and go to her, or he would get these texts or voicemails from other girls saying all these crazy things. And I checked them, but I never opened my mouth and said I saw them, because I couldnt prove it. He would delete them when I had looked again. Making me believe I was nuts! All my friends hated his guts, as he did theirs. I don't know how we just continued to date?! I basically hated his guts by that time and was extremely mean to him.

Around New Years, I saw a text from that girl, saying she left her thong in his friends apartment. I lost it. I went and hooked up with his friend out of spite. (I was still in college,,,, don't judge!) After that we still stayed together and whatever but we were both doing whatever elsewhere and neither talked about or did anything about it. By that time, our real relationship was basically over. He would never admit to cheating on me, although I would catch him in the most craziest situations and he could make me beleive I was nuts!

So summer-fall 2006, he broke up with me and moved to Mississippi. His mom was really sick with cancer and her and I were really close, and she passed away while he was gone. He came back and I saw him a couple of times, but I felt really bad for him because she had passed away, he had no where to stay... I felt bad (again! naive, dumb!) At THIS time, I was now beginning to date T (yes, the T) and I was trying to feel bad for him and be there for him, but I didn't want to be involved.

Jay's birthday comes around, I (being the idiot I am) told him I would take him out to dinner because I felt bad still about his mom and he was having a really rough time. I didn't tell T because I didn't want it to be really awkward, so I just went out with him and he asked to see my new apartment... I stupidly said yes.

We get to my apartment I show him around and were talking in my room because my other roommates were home ( i lived with 4 other people) , bigger mistake, and then T started calling me. I didn't know what to do, I knew I was doing something wrong. I answered and I told him that I was sick and staying home.... I knew I was in for when I lied... I am a really bad liar.

Around 10 minutes later, I am getting more calls and knocking on the door (now of course my roomates had left) and it is T. I am PANICING! I had no idea what to do. Jay was like, what is going on?! And I pretty much ask him to leave out the back door... In not enough time, T gets into my house ( our house was pretty old, all the windows did not lock) and comes upstairs and walks right up to Jay and punches him in the face.

HOLY CRAP.

I left Jay standing there and ran after T....

After that, Jay did not talk to me anymore and T stopped talking to me for about 2 weeks. We made up, I explained it wasn't what he thought... I just felt bad for him, I shouldnt have lied, I should have told him, didn't want to make it awkward... yeah. Way to fuck that up Jen! But he forgave me.

And that was the end of Jay.

He SO deserved the punch though... It should have been from me...



17 comments:

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

WOW!!!!!!!!!! .... WOW! I thought I was crazy..maybe I'll send you a few of my stories...

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

oh and my "I" I don't mean as in you're crazy.. I mean the whole situation... LOL

The Novelista Barista said...

hahaha thats okay.... it was TOTALLY nuts..... i cant believe i went on for so LONG!

nicole addison said...

ah you're right he deserved a good punch in the face. this story bring sback waayyyy too many memories of an ex. someone should have punched him in the face! haha im getting a feeling that many of these stories will bring back some memories!

The Novelista Barista said...

LOL i hear that! hahah.....i felt bad.... but i also didnt really feel that bad at all!!

Dana said...

Oh. My. Gosh. We have such a similar story. I'm going to write my Broken Heart File ASAP.

Jaime said...

I hate how guys can turn the situation around and make us feel like we completely crazy, when really they are just d-bags.

Ida Nielsen said...

Wow, what an idiot!!! He deserved more than one punch...!!

Sara said...

I'd certainly have punched him more than once! Way to go T!

The Novelista Barista said...

LOL i know right? what a psycho!!!!!!!

M.J. said...

The whole adventure and kisses in the rain thing...I could see how you were hooked. I'm guessing this guy was older than you and banking on the fact that you were gullible. Well, life is about learning, so as long as you came out of the situation a better, stronger, smarter person, then I'd say you "won."

The Novelista Barista said...

This is true MJ... and i dont wish a shitty life on anyone...... but i heard he wasnt very happy with his life now ... and yeah... lets just say u get whats coming to you eventually!

GARF said...

Nice one....must have been some experience for you. While reading even i was amazed that u again patched up with him and yes, i guess the world would agree that the punch should have u written all over it. Nez...u saw it thru...life is made up of all these...right?

Dara Laine said...

I'm so sorry he was able to manipulate you like that. Unfortunately, until you're manipulated so seriously there's almost like no way you can protect yourself. Trust me, I won't go into my ridiculous story on your blog, but I really understand. Don't feel like you were being dumb, it's just hard to know what to do when you've never been treated like shit before and don't expect other people to be so horrible.

Glad he got punched, seriously. Karma's a bitch.

Shop Girl* said...

Holy mother Jay sounds like a total ass. I'm sorry he treated you so badly, but at least he got punched at the end!

The Novelista Barista said...

lol yeah he was definitely an asshole!

spanky* said...

he was such a d-bag. fuck him.
i never liked him. he was rude.

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