Thursday, October 1, 2009

Interactive Thursday!

Topic:

How do you feel about hooking up/dating your ex's friends?



Mine:

I don't know how I feel about this. I would normally say no, its not right. But then again, who really knows what right is? If its over between you and your ex, and its not their BEST BEST BEST friend ever, then I mean... I would almost say its fair game. Although I have had my best friends hook up with my ex's before and you know what? I would rather them be with someone I know will treat them right then someone who I don't know.
But then again, it can be a little over bearing. It all really depends on the situation, how it ended, how that started, who is who... etc. etc. I have seem worse cases than others.

Overall, I would say, probably not a good idea. But... do what makes you happy. Life is too short..

This is such a controversial issue that I am really not sure how I feel about itttttttt.

Thoughts? Comments?


17 comments:

radiogael said...

Alright, I reckon that it's probably not the best of ideas, especially if the breakup with your ex was acrimonious. (When I say 'you' I mean 'one', in the hypothetical sense lol)

You sort of need to guage how close the guy and your ex is, and whether you reckon it's just a fling or a potential big deal relationship. I dunno, it seems like a really tricky issue, plus, as you said life IS far too short, and if it makes you happy go for it.

I suppose my line therefore is this: It's a bad idea and probably shouldn't be done, but if it makes you happy then absolutely go for it, but be really careful.

The Novelista Barista said...

lol yeah... its a tough tough call.

Angie said...

For me it would depend on how he treated me and how it ended. If he just turned into a total ass and cheated on me or something and I really liked his friend (and wasn't doing it out of spite) then I would do it.

The Novelista Barista said...

yeah,,, see in that situation i would say it was okay!

Miss Mercedes said...

I say if his friend is really his friend, then he's not going to want to hook up with ME. If he wants me...then he's probably not that good a friend anyway. I'm sort of a do what makes you happy kind of girl....

Not that it's right..

Melanie's Randomness said...

I'm totally against doing it. It's a no-no in my book. Maybe because the guy I've had a mess with for 3 years never told our other guy friends about us so if I ever hooked up with any of the other guys in the group it would be a total DISASTER!! I get worried when I even hang out with his friends without him. From my bad experiences with guys I see some of them as wolves. So they are very territorial, and they mark their territory. lol. That sounds so cheesy but it's sometimes true. Going with their best friend is like just asking for a fight for their territory. Even if your broken up, it's still a sore spot for some guys so I'd so no, unless you want to have a fight.

Jaime said...

I say no...I wouldn't want him dating any of mine!

cuteellaisbold said...

I think it would depend just on what the relationships entailed. If it was one of my serious exs then no I wouldn't date/hook up with his friends if it was something casual but no longer ongoing, I might be ok with it...Also, I could be more ok with it if say, they were friends now, but weren't when the ex and I were together. I guess like anything else complicated, it depends on all the variables…

That said, I can’t ever imagine a situation where I would hook up with someone my one of my friends has been with…

Andhari said...

Between me and my girls, we have this girl code, not even ex flings can be dated or can be hooked up by all of us. Breaking codes means breaking friendships and we all take this very seriously.

The Novelista Barista said...

yeah i hear u guys on that!

A Life Analytical said...

While my previous(and current) boyfriends and I have been friendly with each other's friends, we definitely had separate social groups. I'd tag along with him, or vice versa, but we never hung out alone with the other person's group or integrated our groups together. I liked having my own people.. I'm sure they did as well. When we stopped dating, we cleanly separated from each other's lives. For that reason, I would never date an ex's friend, and I would hope that an ex would never date mine.

Elise said...

Tough one, I think about this all the time given my current situation.

Normally, I would say no no no but when it comes down to it, if you're serious about the person and think it could be something pretty special, not just a hook-up, then why should you miss out on happiness? As long as everything ended in a half-decent way... Who knows? It's dangerous territory but one that needs to be taken individually. (That's what I tell myself, anyway!)

The Novelista Barista said...

yeah,,, this is a tough one. very hard to say.. the situations one is in are usually different.. i guess it all depends.

mysterg said...

This is a big NO! There are certain rules, and one of these rules is that you are never allowed to date the ex/sister/mother of a friend.

sarah said...

i think, my first instinct is to say no,,, but i do think that situations require different solutions, you know? hmmm. tough

Jackie said...

My gut says "no". Then again, what if your ex's best friend was someone really special? I never had to worry about this though; I wasn't especially fond of my ex's friends anyway.

Shop Girl* said...

This is a no for me, but only because I think when you break up with someone it's just easier if you "break up" with their friends too. I guess if the initial breakup with the ex is amicable then things with the friends could be different, but it would be a case by case thing!

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