Tuesday, October 13, 2009

BH Files - Mourning the Loss


I was with this guy for 3 yrs and I thought he was the one, I mean it I was done for...
We broke up on the 23rd of March 2009 and by April 7th he had a brand new girlfriend and a brand new car.

I felt so very broken and lost. I was sad at not only losing him but all the friends and family that I came to know as my own. I still mourn that loss.

I hit rock bottom over the next couple weeks and months, truth be told its all a little fuzzy. I found that rye and coke softened the edges of something that cut me so deep that it hurt to breathe. I had a lot of anger towards him as to how he could just walk away from it all and act like the last 3 years didn’t matter.

It got to a really low point in about June and after realizing that my family and friends couldn’t help me get through all the anger and the sadness, I sought out professional help.I only saw the "shrink" once but she really helped me realize what I needed to do in order to start to no be so angry about it all. I knew that what I had been doing was not healthy emotionally, mentally and certainly not physically.

I'm not better by any sense of the word but i hope that i'm getting there.


10 comments:

Optimistic Pessimist said...

i can so relate. i was with someone for almost 3 years. he was seeing someone BEFORE we broke up. Nothing like a slap in the face for giving some one all of you for almost three years. It's a long road back but we can both do it.

walkingonsunshine18 said...

Ex boyfriends make such dumb ass moves sometimes - FUCK! I say grab a copy of The First Wives Club and a tub of ice cream and call it a night! :)

pinkapplecore said...

I know you're not where you want to be in life but I do know that you will get there. You have always given me sweet comments and I always appreciate that!

<3 xoxo

DesBisoux said...

not a fun place to be in...maybe you're not better but you'll def get out of it stronger.
good luck...
xxx

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Wowza, compelling stuff. Take care.

Kimberly said...

Hey!!! It's right under the pictures of me and boyfriend... Is it not there?

Kimberly said...

And after that comment I read your blog and I feel so sad. I don't know how someone can just walk away from a relationship after 3 years and NOT CARE? He obviously isn't the 'boy' you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life :( You are beautiful and wonderful.

nicopolitan said...

Piping up to say that as much as it straight up SUCKS to go through this kind of a situation, you really should admit to feeling these things to help move you forward. It's unhealthy to try and keep the emotion down, especially when you've every right to feel the way you do.

Don't bottle it up -- that's a recipe for a pressure cooker.

And then when you let it all out, when you feel like there's nothing left, that's a good place to start because it's starting from scratch.

PorkStar said...

I can totally relate to you at this point, having a wife walking off my marriage after 7 years, only because she felt my brother was worth it more than I.

Jessilyn said...

I'm so sorry....I went through the same thing over the summer and I know how hard it is. What I can promise you is that even though you are still hurting now, it does get better, easier, and you will heal. Trust that from someone who is going through it right now..

You will be okay!

Also, your ex is a huge jerk and coward.

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